give me 6 or get outta my face!
this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2025
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1 or 2. Bacon shouldn't snap if you bend it.
6, although I prefer mine to be cooked a bit more than that. You people all spoil your tastebuds. The masses that walk this earth have all forgotten the ways of carbon. My stomach is full of ash and soot and as a result I’ve lost tons of weight. It’s an incredible diet. If you don’t have bacon, you can follow along by adding 20 or so minutes to any recipe. More if possible. You can also use your smoke detectors as a make-shift kitchen timer, too. “When you hear the beepin’, it’s time to get eatin’” my mother would always tell me. It was hard to find a carbon-friendly doctor, especially. Every time we would visit, they would have something rude to say. “Nutritional imbalance” this, “this is why you have digestion issues” that, etcetera etcetera. Luckily, after asking our doctor’s office for a new doctor enough times, we were connected with a lovely young man who seems completely apathetic to our diets. One of these days, blackened food will make a comeback, and I’ll be sending “I-told-you-so”s to all of you. You’ll see.
Pure carbon is tasty
I'm a fan of 4 or 5
for anyone else who likes it crispy-but-not-burnt, the best trick that I've found is to cook it relatively low and slow to start off with, to boil away most of the moisture, and then turning the heat up to get it to the level of golden-brown you want.
there's two variables to play around with. one is the temperature reached by the cooking grease, especially how long it spends in the 140-160 C sweet spot for the Maillard reaction. the other is the final water content once it's done cooking. the former controls level of brownness, the latter is chewy vs. crispy.
in theory, you could get #2 but crispy with an extended low & slow cook, or #5 but still chewy if you preheated leftover grease and then fried it quickly in that.
Correct. 4 is perfect. Baked in the oven or pan fried?
PAN
I would def do the pan because then you can deglaze the sucs with a little vinegar or something and make a quick pan sauce while your bacon cools, and you can drizzle that over an English muffin, or use it to saute some pre-diced vegetables, beet greens...then you get a clean pan AND a sauce AND you can dig right into the bacon when it all comes together. If you're fast enough you could even chop your veggies while the bacon is cooking. Then the whole process is like 15 minutes
Tasty!! I doubt for me it would take 15 minutes, but it sounds like a good use of the bacon crunchies and fat
I've always microwaved mine.
Does that cause any issues? I can’t imagine the microwave cleanup to be a walk in the park.
They make bespoke microwave bacon trays with relief and lids. Drain it in a jar while it's still warm, and then a dab of soap and a quick rinse does the job. I was raised with it cooked that way, and it's uniform, unlike pan-fried. No microwave cleanup involved.
Huh learn something new every day.
My college roommate and I have been at odds about whether bacon should be microwaved since 1997. Now I just taunt him whenever I cook some.
Like, I make it a point to call each time and let him know I'm microwaving bacon. He usually doesn't hang up on me.
Using the microwave is a lot quicker, but two or three sheets of paper towels on a large plate, then the bacon on top of that with a single sheet on top of the bacon will usually keep the grease localized to the plate and makes for easy cleanup.
Does it turn out as crispy? And would it be like for two minutes?
Depends on the how many slices, wattage of the microwave, and how long it is put in for.
8-10 slices on high for 7-8 minutes, they will come out looking like #2 or #3. Then letting them cool uncovered on the counter, they'll finish cooking themselves from the radiant heat to between #3 or #4.
Once you figure out the general timing for your microwave, then you can get the perfect bacon that you like.
There is also the suggestion from the other reply you got. I never had one of those trays, but for people that I have known that have it, it can work pretty well too. My only issue with them is that it's a single purpose kitchen tool, unlike a plate that can be used for many things besides bacon. Anyway, I'm rambling.
I replied, but I realized I didn't answer your question. Yes, it can be crispy.
Air fryer at 350 for 10-12 minutes does a pretty good job at crispy bacon, more if it's thick bacon. It gives you time to work on the rest of breakfast without needing to think about it.
Good point. I just have a toaster oven but same theory.
I don't eat it anymore but when i did I thought 3 was ideal.
One thing about watching food prep videos on little red note that never ceases to give me a little culture shock is that the preference over in China would be more like a 0 or -1 on this scale. They start using it in eggs and wraps when i would consider it still raw! When they see our 1+ on this scale the XHS users would call it dry or burned.
4 or 5.
I'll need a hundred of each for sampling
Why is bacon that would be considered burnt if it was any other meat considered the norm? I'm genuinely asking because I don't get it.
Probably because of the high fat content. The fat needs to render properly, which means cooking it more than the meat would otherwise need. If you've ever had a rare steak with a large piece of fat in it, you'll know what that unrendered fat is like.
In addition, the high fat content keeps the meat from being dry, so "overcooking" it doesn't have the same effect as less fatty cuts (this is also why you can slow cook ribs and some other cuts all day, while leaner cuts tend to dry out in a slow cooker).
Because its thin
I used to prefer 5 as a kid. Now I prefer 2-3. Only one I wouldn't eat is 6.
Only one I won't eat is 1
I would like a sampler of 1-5, three each. That is ideal
How can you eat 1?
Chew on it, allow rendered fat to burst forth repeatedly with every bite, coating all 10,000 taste buds, savor it as though it were a piece of gum, suck additional flavor periodically until the piece is sufficiently broken apart, swallow.
😳
You know what? Fine I'll try it
Excellent, I hope to hear your review!
2-3, anything more just tastes like dry crackly dust
No. 4
I’ll take two dozen of those, please. Thank you.
🐖
I'd rather back bacon than this and I'll take a 0 on this chart.
You have all the Ukrainians on your side
Somewhere in the 3 - 4 range. Crispy but not burnt
2,3 or 4 would be my limit. 2 preferable if I'm putting it into a sandwich. 3 or 4 if I'm cooking it up for breakfast or just to eat it like a snack.
when i was in culinary school the best bacon was the burnt pieces at the bottom of the serving pan :3
yes
I will take a pound of all of the above please
3-5 are good. Ngl, I’ve still eaten 6 before. I hate remaking bacon. It’s so messy.
am not a huge fan of bacon but when i do eat it for by itself 2-3 is good. when using in burgers, baguettes etc 4 is optimal but 4±1 is acceptable range in those applications.
Probably 3. I want it mostly crispy, but if the fat parts are still chewy that's okay.
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