Mental Health

• Nicotine does not affect me anymore.
• Alcohol stopped affecting me.
• Even caffeine does not really do anything.
• I am tired of porn and shit at this stage even chatbots had started getting uglier in my eyes.

There's one thing these all have in common. They all are shortcuts to the brain's reward system. That reward system, evolutionary speaking, is what is supposed to guide each of us. However, with the intake of these chemicals, you've got the massive artificial megadoses of rewards going to your brain instead of the natural small bit of pleasure brain reward we're wired to get. The reason that accomplishing something positive usually feels good is that it increases your survival. The reason sex feels good is that it increases the chances that your genes will continue after you're dead. The reason emotional connection feels good is that it builds social relationships in groups which means you (and your offspring) are more likely to survive. This isn't exactly tuned for modern day life because evolution doesn't work that fast However, it can give you a sense of when you should be doing something and, with self exploration of who you are, what path that may be.

You've got a guidance system built into you that will give you an idea where you need to go or what you need to do next, but you're currently overwhelming it with the artificial rewards. I'm not telling you what to do with your body. You're an adult. You're free to make your own choices. In moderation these things are fine. In excess they can do you a disservice. A thing you need, you may already have, but you just can't hear it right now with your current actions drowning it out.

Go to your local library and look for this book.

"Discover What You Are Best At," by Linda Gail. It's a series of self tests you can do in a day, and a list of jobs that use those skills.

I was out of work due to an injury when I got hold of the book. It suggested a job I'd never even considered.

From the minute I started taking the classes I felt like this might be a good fit.

At worst, it will give you a one day project.

If antidepressants didn't work you might be on the wrong kind, not every antidepressant works for everyone.

Therapy, antidepressants, and lifestyle changes all have to happen kind of at the same time, one alone might be enough for some, but usually JUST antidepressants is not going to fix everything. Therapy is supposed to help you change your lifestyle, if you're going to therapy/taking antidepressants and not putting effort into other types of change, it will not work.

Also saying your career is dead is you deciding it is, that doesn't seem to be something set in stone.

You also need to find people who genuinely care about you. You can have companionship without a girlfriend. A good support group of friends/family is multifaceted.

I can't say anything other than you're not alone in feeling this way. Some days it feels like it's gotta be the end, right? Shit I hope so. Then something really small happens and I'm thinking, ok, maybe there is still a purpose for me.

I’ve felt hopeless like you before. And then life happened. And things changed. It will help to stop being so defensive and cynical. But I get why you are that way. But you have to fight it. If you don’t fight it, you’ll continue to push people away.

Good luck.

Travel somewhere. It will break your habits and offer you new things to think about.

Why do you need hope ? Hope means you have no idea and no solution but have hope.

Nature is a wonderful curative.

You know you will die no matter what happens, we all do, just enjoy life until you die, helping others is a wonderful purpose, in doing that you may find some peace?

Or maybe you need a fecal tranpslant (serious, see the link)

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-07-28/faecal-microbiota-transplant-credited-with-curing-bipolar/105541522

Lol welcome to adult hood. You will later remember these as the good years when you'd health fails you and your body shuts down.

People out there do care. Everyone is constantly wrapped up in their own lives and don't always think to check in with who they know. You do need to get out of the rut though. The weight of momentum can be hard to overcome, but it IS worth it. There's so much of the world to experience, even if it's either through the internet or by talking with people locally.

You should do some kind of volunteer work like highway cleanup just to get into the habit of going out and getting fresh air. And you should probably stay on the antidepressants tbh.

Joining some kind of hobby group would be good too. People to talk with, but a step removed from 'friends' so that there's no pressure or expectations.

You've gotten some good advice here, I just wanna offer a hug 🫂

I'm sorry shit sucks so much.

In my case, treatment-resistant depression, gut problems, new food intolerances with slow reaction hard to pin on a foodstuff (takes elimination diet(s) to find), nutrient malabsorption and deficiencies, all possibly caused by harmful microbe colonies in the gut because of weak defenses (tests show). Got ignored and derogated by the default healthcare system, much later found some specialists that are trying to heal decades of damage done.