this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2023
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In this case, I'm referring to the notion that we all make minor sacrifices in our daily interactions in service of a "greater good" for everyone.

"Following the rules" would be a simplified version of what I'm talking about, I suppose. But also keeping an awareness/attitude about "How will my choices affect the people around me in this moment? "Common courtesy", "situational awareness", etc...

I don't know that it's a "new" phenomenon by any means, I just seem to have an increasing (subjective) awareness of it's decline of late.

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[–] WhoRoger@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

I doubt that's a new thing honestly. I've always been encountering people who think only of themselves.

But also, a part of this social contract should be things like "nobody's perfect" and "everyone makes mistakes". That goes with your part together too, sometimes we don't think something through and may come ofd as selfish or ignorant. But that's also normal if it just happens randomly sometimes and it's not too much of a pattern.

I think these days we tend to demand perfection too much, and write someone off way too quickly.

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 years ago

Yes, but from a slightly different viewpoint. Namely, people are so disenfranchised from their society on average that the idea of a social "contract" makes no sense. People are not at all represented by "their" governments, and in their righteous anger they conflate the oppression by governments with that of their people.

If you put on a crown and shout that you're better than me, I'm not going to respect your authority by default. You need to give a reason to do so, such as protections, rights, privileges, opportunities, camaraderie, etc.—or the implied or explicit threat of violence against those who disobey the law, as is the current setup. Right now, the only thing that my government does for me is wage wars in foreign lands, building ill will and corpse piles on my behalf. For many people, their government harasses them or just wants them straight-up dead.

I think that many people confuse the ill-will of governments with the avarice of their ordinary citizens [1]. It is, at best, tied to the apathy of their citizens, whom have themselves been relentlessly beaten into understandable submission.

The point I'm making is this: if people are already out to destroy you, what good is the social contract to you? Fuck them. This is the attitude that drives people not to care for others.

Now this lack of care for others is not my viewpoint! I do separate the actions of the state from the people they "represent" as much as is possible [2]. However, I'm in a position of relative comfort and privilege. I have the energy to take a fraction of a second and cool off when I start to see myself blaming humanity for things. Most people don't.

Lastly, in regards to situational awareness and common courtesy specifically...I really had to learn that, and I'm not the only one. "Do unto others as you would want done unto you" doesn't really work for me because I generally want different things than others. I have difficulties reading social cues. Even as an adult, I have to go far beyond "Do unto others..." to suss out what the right course of action is, because I typically would want something else or nothing to happen. Situational awareness and common courtesy are not inherently obvious or intuitive, and I think we do a disservice to ourselves by pretending that we don't generally learn courtesy from others.

[1] In areas where street justice is a thing, it is not at all uncommon for the public to side with non-state bullies in conducting oppression, although usually still with tacit state support.

[2] Patriots and ultranationalists do exist unfortunately. Non-state ultranationalists need to be taken to task along with their state-sponsored brethren.

[–] jray4559@lemmy.fmhy.net 4 points 2 years ago

It's a bit of confirmation bias. Once something "big" happens to you, you start seeing little things that you'd before just write off.

But a part of it is the increase in homeless people. Many of them, thanks to mental illness and drug addiction, can't follow a social contract.

Of course, naturally, they get left on the street where they ruin everyone else's day instead of being forced into an area where they can exhaust themselves out, and get their illnesses treated.

Because that would cost too much money, of course, as if letting those people lose their grip on reality and break shit doesn't already cost money.

[–] Serpardum@lemmyonline.com 3 points 2 years ago

Absolutely,.

[–] LittleBoBanny@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

I just went to Japan and Korea, and seeing the difference between there and here (US) is jarring. You’d almost have to go there and spend some time immersed in it to pick up on the many ways they cooperate and help each other - from the government, to safety regulations and equipment, to the day-to-day interactions. We could really learn something from them.

[–] focusedkiwibear@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

The nihilistic energy of the early 2020s isn’t new but it has been front and center for awhile. I’m hoping it fades.

[–] fiat_lux@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

All the time. There are things many people do which cause me (and others) physical pain because of a medical condition. They don't mean to cause me harm, but because they have a mental model of everyone sharing similar abilities as themselves, it simply doesn't occur to them that the one small thing they're doing has negative consequences for others. It's a monkeysphere thing, it's nobody's fault.

I get past it by remembering that I am also incapable of remembering everyone's needs at all times. I'm sure there are many things I have done which seemed completely mundane at the time, but affected someone else negatively. No matter how hard I tried.

The people who still do things like casually block the entire sidewalk with a heavy rental e-bike still pisses me off. But, not for as long as it used to. And if it's something I can fix for someone else who can't, I'll try to do that too.

I also try hard to ensure I actively remember other people's needs where I can. If I can create less suffering, I think that's a good thing to try for.

[–] Rodeo@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What do people do that causes you pain?

[–] fiat_lux@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago (5 children)

To be brief, I have a painful condition where I injure myself by standing or walking for too long. If I overdo it I can be (and have been, many times) confined to bed for days.

It isn't something you would ever really think about if you weren't in my position, but society really assumes you can stand for as long as you need to. Seating is a "convenience" for 90% of people, not a necessity.

Public spaces will frequently only a couple of seats, which will already be taken by others like me. An invite to a random bar by a friend can be a huge problem, queueing is even more hellish than for most people, kitchens are built with the assumption you will be standing to cook... limited standing ability has much wider reaching consequences than you would ever think.

Anytime someone sits in a seat just for convenience instead of need is painful, because there are usually very few. Anytime someone holds an event and does not organise for seating means I have to leave. Others plan routes around cost and walking time, I do it by seating opportunities. Even something tiny like parents letting their bored kids climb and play all over the only bench in an art gallery means I will be in more pain, because the gallery designers assume you stand to view the works.

I don't get out much. One of the worst parts is that you can't prevent your mind from linking physical pain to all activity. When peak covid hit and shops and parks etc. barred off seating areas to "prevent people from congregating", that was not a good time for me.

Sorry, didn't mean to unload, that just sort of spilled out. It looks like I have some self-care to do.

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[–] kava@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I'm not witnessing this rampant disregard for the social contract. Most people pay their taxes, don't assault others, follow traffic laws, etc.

I guess there are examples like for example the mask thing during the pandemic. But we can have different opinions on what constitutes the social contract.

Maybe I believe I should only wear a mask when I'm sick. If I follow that protocol, in my mind I am still following the rules of the social contract. Someone who believes you should wear a mask 100% of the time may feel I am not following the social contract.

Some people would agree with the first and some with the second and others with something entirely different.

The real litmus test for me is the laws. The social contract isn't simply a morality / ethics thing. It's an agreement "you don't get in my way and I won't get in yours" and that's pretty much what has sparked our common laws.

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