Slop.

hold the phone with either 1 or 2 hands

Whenever I see a guy with a phone, I'm always thinking "Wow, that guy sure is holding his phone in an unmanly way." instead of just not giving a shit. It's really important for men to remember that all strangers are judging their every action and behaviour and rating it on a scale of 1 to 10 manlynesses.

Don't be a PUSSY, eating your CEREAL with a SPOON like a WOMAN. Be a MAN and eat your frosted flakes like a BOSS by putting each flake on your COCK and flicking it into your MOUTH like a REAL ALPHA.

If you ever have to deal with someone from the manosphere who talks about all the shit they do to be “more of a man” just give them a sympathetic look and say “that’s rough. I suffer from gender dysphoria, too.” And see how they react

Which gender is it if I drop it all the time

If you're a man and even a single person thinks you look gay then your dick falls off and you have to go live in the cornfield

You especially hold your phone like a bad ass when you hold the phone a few inches from you face with speaker phone on so everyone else in the grocery store can hear the entire conversation from both sides.

Okay but what's the feminine way to hold your phone

/srs

Lol this is what I'm doing right now because I can't see shit.

but with your phone

The problem with “weak” (low-power) poses is they make you look smaller… and feel smaller.

With your arms and elbows brought close to the body, and the shoulders and neck bending down – it practically looks like you're curling up in a shell.

So go against the norm and adopt “strong” (high-power) poses when it comes to using your phone. It takes a good amount of confidence to do… as well as accepting the fact that it'll raise some eyebrows.

Caring about this kind of thing sounds so exhausting.

oh you hold your phone like you want to suck its dick??? not me!!! im very comfortable in my masculinity!!!!!

I'm a real man so I hold my phone like andrew dice clay smoked a cigarette, with my arm wrapped around the back of my head and wearing a leather jacket

Lmao, teaching men to take objectively worse pictures.

Part of my transition was learning how to take better pictures that were more flattering and that’s doing the opposite of what they recommend.

Being a man is about taking shitty photos

anything other than a belt holster is gay

Use your phone with both hands or just one hand (while the other jacks off your peanits)

Can't look at your phone in class by holding it to your face bro, we were trained to look straight down

You must assert dominance over your handheld devices

This is why we need more sexy himbo leftists like Hasan

Today, we ask ourselves: are the straights okay? No.

I put my axe body spray on one spritz at a time just like any other guy, fella.

I'm a man and therefore I must never use an umbrella in the rain, because people might think I am gay /s

Real men hold their phone with their penis.

the real ultimate manly way is to ditch the smart phone and only have the push-to-talk Nextel 2 way, have truncated conversations over a super loud speaker about equipment only ever referred to by its manufacturer "the Polaris, the Chevy, the Kubota", and end conversations with "you got it"