this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
565 points (98.0% liked)

Not The Onion

17518 readers
1374 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/65976593

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Australis13@fedia.io 6 points 2 months ago

Gardening is one of my hobbies but I don't have much retail experience... Guess that's me ruled out then.

[–] wanderwisley@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

Absolutely no favoritism with this hire.

[–] Jym66@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

He will weed them out!

[–] SSNs4evr@leminal.space 5 points 2 months ago

Why do I think he'd look more the part, if he were wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm voting for Pedro?"

[–] thisnameisnottolong@aussie.zone 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Can't wait for the biopic! That picture alone could be the promo poster. Wolf of wall street meets pineapple express?

[–] selkiesidhe@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Now if only we find out he sexually assaulted a child and owns at least three Nazi paraphernalia, he'd be the perfect GOP candidate

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 3 points 2 months ago

I bet we could rng ppl in these comments 10x more capable.

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The ex-paste eater here is going to know what terrorists crave

[–] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

He did work for the Heritage Foundation, so he knows all about those terrorists.

[–] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 months ago

Paste-eaters deserve better than this moron.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Democrats: sorry, if you're under 70 you're too young for us.

Republicans: give me all your children!!!

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Ledericas@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

failing upwards, just like P47

[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Maybe they don’t care if you think they’re dumb as long as the attack happens to solidify the people behind unjustifiable war. Greenland, Canada, Ukraine, Iran, China - as long as 400 million will again buy the lies.

[–] Ledericas@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

trying to look like the rock.

[–] xorollo@leminal.space 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Bet he likes the picture because the weird face gives him a few forehead wrinkles.

[–] VerbFlow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I'm about as old as he is!

[–] RadioFreeArabia@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As qualified as any of them

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

that doesn't make it acceptable. if anything it makes it less so.

weakness is a sum of all parts, if all parts weak, there is no strength.

[–] danzabia@infosec.pub 0 points 2 months ago

Name checks out.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

And also, clearly, a massive douche.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›