Oh man. This becomes like a philosophical thinking exercise.
Do you steal the tank, and have the GREATEST BAR STORY IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, (with the caveat being that not a single person would ever believe your story)
or
Do you not risk government and military personnel hunting you, stay safe, and just take uber home (with the caveat being that you're a huge pussy who has no exciting bar stories that anybody want to hear)?
Decisions decisions....