QueerDefenseFront

I'm not sure that in a society that isn't homophobic and transphobic that this would be as much of a problem as we think. Would it be acceptable to be upset if the girl you were hooking up with took off her clothes and you find out she had some other kind of situation she didn't disclose? I can imagine many different situations, like:

• breasts are smaller than expected because the bra was padded
• one or more breasts were removed due to cancer
• ambiguous or otherwise "not normal" genitalia for whatever reason (e.g. there are women with multiple vaginas, for example, or women with very large clits, etc.)
• scars, burns, or other marks on the body that you didn't expect

You can think of more examples I'm sure. If you really think a trans woman is a woman, I don't think their genitals being in one configuration is that different than these sorts of examples - it's just another unexpected thing.

I think part of what makes it feel like a violation, esp. to so many cis straight men, is that the attitudes about genitals are so essentialized, it's often hard for a cis straight man (and people in general) to think the penis isn't "male" at least in some sense, and so on a trans woman a penis requires special consent and disclosure that we might not demand of other conditions.

Should someone feel violated if anything else is not what they expected on a woman's body? Why is being trans special or different?

All that said, we do live in a society - so disclosing seems like a good idea for so many reasons. My questions aren't meant to lead people to take risks, but to create clarity about why these practices of disclosure are necessary in the first place.

That's one thing, but I was referring to steps before that part. I think these people are horrified of the prospect of being attracted to someone and then finding out they were once biologically male so they simply push to make that prospect impossible. Everyone else suffers so they don't have to suffer any introspection. :/