chat

I've met some cool people when I joined a leftist group in my area on FB and went to the "meetup" at the park. You could probably also try some hobby groups like DnD or board games or whatever you are interested in.

Meeting new people organically is just super hard after you leave a school system and you just kind of have to force yourself in to situations where you can meet someone.

Edit: Also don't stress to much about the way you are "supposed to" act and what you should or should not say, when you meet someone compatible it will just click, don't overthink it.

I quite literally talk at people until I'm a mainstay in their life and they forget there ever was a life without me in it. I dnow where i get the energy but basically it boils down to find someone with similar interests through small talk then ramp up the blah blah, invite for lunch, blah some more, invite for dinner, blah some more, exchange numbers, test the water with a few small memes, blah some more. Then i find more people and then i make them all blah at each other, then we play counter strike as a team bonding exercise then blah some more

Helps to be in an environment where you see the person often either work or volunteering or hobby groups. Making friends online is a bit harder cos there's no reason to see the person again so it might just go dark one day. Also shared memories in a common environment go a long way i still riff on the same tired old events with my school friends to this day.

Might help to find some people to practice talking with online maybe. Engage in megathreads here or a person to dm about common interests may go a long way to build up confidence. Confidence begets more confidence until you get a big head like me.

Its also possible that everyone thinks I'm obnoxious and hates me but what I don't know can't hurt me

I know it's always said but absolutely hobbies, if you have a games shop near you they might run a D&D or other ttrpg game you can join, and expensive to get into but warhammer(some places do run games where you can use store models, free mini painting class etc) just by playing you'll naturally get into conversations and seeing the same people repeatedly you'll naturally develop friendships

Education is another big one, don't worry about if you're 'too old', find a community college or adult learning center take a course on something you're interested in and students will naturally talk to eachother and often(and if no one else does you should start it) there'll be a group chat to swap notes etc, after a little while when you've are relatively comfortable with at least some of the others suggest a social outting like drinks or food

Similarly volunteering is also a good way, especially something where you'd be manning a kiosk/desk with another person with so with all the downtime you'll talk and hopefully click

I personally don't have any experience with it, but thought I mention because I haven't seen any one else comment on it but I assume amateur team sports would be a fast track to getting in a friend group, but only if that's your thing don't force yourself to do something you don't like

the big thing is cast a wide net and don't get discouraged if you don't instantly become best friends with someone on your first outting, just by seeing the same people often enough, being friendly and having a good attitude relationships will naturally form and friendships will eventually blossom

Shared hobbies mostly. It took me 7 years to find a genuine friend where i am now.

I don't know. Like even if you go to some hobby meetup or social event and talk to people there, turning that superficial temporary connection into a longer-lasting friendship seems almost impossible. Like I just want to hang out with people, shoot the shit. Being outside and doing stuff is too expensive, especially in the winter when you can't just be outside.

Skatepark, the cool thing is i can go and shoot the shit with people for a couple hours then disappear and go back to being a loner

Eavesdrop and butt in on other people's conversations.

inpatient rehab and NA worked for me but I wouldn't necessarily recommend that path unless you're struggling with addiction, but the larger point there is that anything where you're gathering with the same groups of people organized around a singular focus has potential. hobby and interest groups/meetups/clubs work for this because you have at least one thing in common off the bat to ground conversations. from there it's a process of familiarity and feeling people out which can be onerous but is ultimately worth the effort.