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submitted 1 year ago by Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com

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[-] venorathebarbarian@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

This was literally my husband's objection to getting medicated 😂 It helped his anxiety, then he didn't have the anxiety to get stuff done, so he thought he should just not be medicated cuz he was terrified he wouldn't have the ability anymore without the anxiety.

Lucky for him I went through the same thing with my meds, but my answer was, "Use the medication to build good habits." Which is the great wisdom I passed on to him (which I probably picked up from lurking ADHD spaces before my (and his) diagnosis).

[-] topinambour_rex@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

How you do that, build healthy habits with the meds ?

[-] notacat@mander.xyz 8 points 1 year ago

For me they help me be more ok slowing down and starting small and not feeling so overwhelmed from all there is to do. So I’m like 50% likely to do something on meds and 20% off.

[-] venorathebarbarian@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Lol, those percentages are so accurate and it's so sad 😂 Even medicated there's a chance my brain just will. not. prioritize what we had discussed focusing on.

[-] 01189998819991197253@infosec.pub 4 points 1 year ago

what we had discussed focusing on.

You referred to your brain as a separate, sentient entity hahahaha!! I thought I was the only one, honestly, and it made me laugh HARD just now to find out that I'm not.

[-] topinambour_rex@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Thanks I will follow this. Just need to say it out loud few times and it will enter my mind :)

[-] venorathebarbarian@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

They help me push past my executive disfunction, most importantly, but also to stay focused and on task. They also kind of act as a ritual that starts a "Get it done" mindset, like taking my pill sets my intention for the day.

I had to go off my meds for a few months, and while my habits were harder to do, they weren't impossible like they felt before I had built them. I was able to rely on habit muscle memory.

[-] topinambour_rex@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Thanks but how you built them ? I'm on medication ( Methylphenidate) and I still struggle. We don't have a large choice of treatment on my country. I feel I can do more, but I still fail to. So I am curious how you succeeded to built those habits. How you avoided our usual pitfalls, by example.

[-] venorathebarbarian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I think that's going to be something personal to each of us. For me having medication gave me the give a damn to, for instance, make sure all dishes are handled before bed. Pre-meds I'd let them go "til the next day" far too often, with meds I was able to make a nightly rule that the sink has to be empty. When I had to go off meds that rule was still in my head, and I knew that if I didn't keep the rule I'd undo the habit and leaving dishes in the sink wouldn't feel "wrong" anymore. So I embraced that "dishes in the sink overnight is wrong" feeling and that carried me through til I got back on meds. (There was MUCH whining, both internal and external, lol, but they got done!)

In the last 8 months I've gone to bed with dishes in the sink probably less than 5 times. And that used to be a HUGE issue for me. But now the rule is engrained enough that I'll plan my evening to make sure it gets done, even if that means doing it in chunks throughout the evening.

It's been a slow process and I'm still not as put together as I'd like to be, and I probably never will be, but the meds are at least giving me a fighting chance.

I basically picked a couple things that felt really important (I brush my teeth every night now!) And found my internal motivation (I hate the way my mouth feels if I go to bed without brushing) , as well as the tricks to make sure I did the things (I'm not allowed to turn off the bathroom light til I brush my teeth, that way I can't sleep cuz the light is on) and once those new rules are easy to follow I have the mental space to pick something new to add.

I wish I could be more helpful, but like I said, I feel like each of us have so many variables as to what works and what doesn't. I'm also pretty sure I'm on the autism spectrum (I keep forgetting to bring it up with my Dr so I can get evaluated, lol) so god knows how that may affect things as far as habit building for me.

There's a YouTube channel I really like, "How to ADHD" , she has great tips for habit building, and because she goes over so many ideas I was able to pick and choose the strategies that felt right for me.

[-] DataCrime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 year ago

Do I feel seen? Or just caught? Going to have to think about that for most of the evening…

[-] tdawg@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

If you feel demotivated to cook, clean, or otherwise leave the house. Try putting on "outside clothes" (i.e. not PJs). More often then not it will give you that little push you need to start doing the important thing

[-] Default_Defect@midwest.social 11 points 1 year ago

Where am I supposed to get the motivation to change my clothes?

[-] rosymind@leminal.space 2 points 1 year ago

Spill something on yourself

[-] Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 year ago

Instructions unclear, I'm lying in my bed all wet.

[-] tdawg@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Hopefully you would understand how to trick yourself into doing small things like that but if not then I would recommend speaking with a professional

[-] boeman@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I can hire someone to change my clothes for me?

[-] tdawg@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I mean

[-] megahertz@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I tell myself that taking the first step (of whatever task I'm avoiding) doesn't mean I have to complete whatever task I'm avoiding. Somehow reminding myself that, for example, taking my socks off doesn't mean I HAVE to take a shower, gets me over the initial hurdle of resistance. If necessary, I will lie to myself about each step of a task, with full knowledge I'm only saying it to trick myself into doing something. At some point, I decide that I might as well finish (usually).

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

Set up an automated system to video call your boss every day at 10 AM. That'll get your anxiety up!

[-] callyral@pawb.social 2 points 1 year ago

damnit my clothes are all suitable for either environment

[-] nicky7@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago

A funny thing I discovered, if I relax my muscles too much when falling asleep, my body's autonomous breathing stops. It's weird, I just literally stop breathing until something else in me starts to panic then I'm gasping for air.

[-] Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 year ago

See a doctor urgently, this is not normal.💀

[-] space_comrade@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

Sounds like that could be some kind of sleep apnea, did you have that checked?

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

It specifically sounds like a non-obstructive sleep apnea - those are usually treated pharmaceutically rather than with a cpap which is a lot easier to manage when traveling!

[-] nicky7@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This issue only occurs when i go into a deep meditation specific to relaxing my muscles before sleep. I had to learn this as a kid because my mind would race for hours trying to fall asleep. With a few different techniques, I can fall asleep within 15 minutes. 5 if I'm already tired. But it wasn't until recently that i discovered i could push the technique far enough to relax my autonomous breathing. But probably very much related to sleep apnea, just not quite the same in my case.

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

Well that's the reason I called out non-obstructive sleep apnea. I've got regular ol' obstructive sleep apnea - my brain never stops trying to breathe it just gets physically impede sometimes. If you have non-obstructive sleep apnea you should talk to someone since you may have a larger autonomic nervous disorder which may also at some point do something even worse like forgetting to ask your heart to beat.