Really straddling the fine line between satire and reality here

Replace "kill" with "imprison for life regardless of applicable law" and this isn't satire anymore. It's an oft-repeated campaign promise and has been for quite a while.

I read this headline and before I had even gotten to the end of the headline ("Onion News Network"), had just accepted it as something that was probably true and that nobody would do anything about, because that's just where we are as a country.

Don Jr appears in there several times and there are rumors JD Vance might show up in the next ad. Those are both deaths that poll extremely well across party lines.

I would be laughing at how ridiculous that is, but I'm mostly just laughing to assuage my low level concern that keeps trying to take control of the wheel that is my mind.

Got me. 100% plausible.