My goal for tonight is to stay up till 2am. Come on body and brain, work with me here!
eating five guys is not cannabalism because we are not human
Got all my shit together and put in an app for the poky little place I looked at today - I'm ashamed to say I offered a bit more than they were asking simply because I think this is one of the few places where I have a good shot and it ticks enough boxes (that said, so many people at the inspection...)
One thing that's nice is when you speak to other applicants and it's friendly banter and you're not all eyeing each other off as competition. And you can commiserate with each other over the shitty situation we're all in...
Had also planned to get in touch with a not-so-close aunt in the outer suburbs to subtly ask about staying with them as a backup if all else fails. Through sheer providence, she called me first... To tell me they're going to sell their place in Nov and if I could help them with tidying up!!!! 😭 She did say once it's been tidied I'm welcome to a spare bedroom until I find a place/the place is sold, but there goes my backup option til July. Oh well
Late start today due to crap sleep. Gym done, grass mowed (so much effort, I left it maybe a week too late and paid the price, plus my hayfever was going at it). Quick arvo coffee before cleaning the shower and bathroom, then I can relax.
Bleh. Bloody snooze button. Was meant to wake up at 8 ended up waking up at 11:30.
Hate that!
I was reading how gummies are going to overtake chocolate as the most popular sweet soon.
Gummies are made with agar, ie, algae, ie soylent green, yellow, etc etc 🐍🐻🐻❄️🦖🦘 🍒🍊
TW suicide
Man… I am so deeply in crisis. I’ve massively avoided talking about just how severe things have been living here but with the crime and untreated mental illness/substance issues ramping up again it’s really affected my mental health.
I have really severe ptsd developed over the years from repetitive harassment and stalking, attempted or semi-success break-in’s while I’ve been home and credible physical threats. (The pocket I live in is a hotspot for untreated mental illness and substance abuse issues with a lot of resulting crime, and I’m considered an easy target due to my size, disability, isolation and gender. The cops do little to nothing because it’s so entrenched.)
It is still constantly being triggered by further threatening incidents with no end in sight. I just don’t feel safe living here and yet I’ve been trying to escape for a very long time with no luck.
People are trying to help me but it’s getting nowhere soon. I’m afraid that my physical health is going to give out, my mental health will end things for me, or my luck will run out and I’ll no longer be able to avoid the threatened physical attacks.
I may be forced to move from public housing into dedicated disability accommodation or mental health housing but I don’t know how long that could take or if there would be any suitable places.
I’m using all my coping strategies but they’re just not enough against this.
I have a psychologist but she seems to have hit the limits of what she can do for me and is now giving really minimising and toxically positive responses that are incredibly stressful and unhelpful. There is a secondary support worker I have who is much the same and I’m getting so stressed out by them that I’m just canceling appointments and withdrawing.
The psych ward is not an option. I explored that option years ago in response to intense suicidal ideation/planning due to this and found it is both ineffective and genuinely dangerous for an AFAB even somewhere with a ‘women’s ward’.
I can’t afford the private rental market, can’t go to any family, and can’t cope with share housing so there’s nothing anyone here can do for me.
I desperately don’t want to die but without safe stable housing I really don’t see a future for myself.
I'm sorry, that's an utterly awful situation. I know there is little I can do to help, and I wish there was a button I could press to fix it for you.
I'm so sorry
I don't know if this would be any help but have you seen Housing Hub?
My first old LP today is Russian Gypsy tunes by the Gypsy orchestra of the Cabaret Russe, 1961. It's ok so far.
mmmmmmmmm guyyyssssssss
I have been watching the falcons this morning and Mum spent a lot of time trying to herd the chicks into the nest so she could shade them with her wings. The chicks kept trying to escape down to the other end of the ledge so they could get into some actual shade. Eventually all three managed to get away, but she stubbornly stayed keeping the empty nest as shaded as she could. She's finally given up and flown off now and the chicks are all enjoying the shade.
Happy weekend everyone! 🕺
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