481
It was a love story after all (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/lotrmemes@midwest.social
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[-] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 22 points 2 months ago

The elvish council spent centuries debating why Sauron would do this, but the truth was he was interested in the tax deductions and a detailed income splitting scheme that harvested losses from Dwarven commodity futures to offset Mordor’s growing volcano habit.

Smaug was only ever in the Lonely Mountain to fully calculate wealth Sauron had sheltered there.

[-] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 months ago

Does this mean Smaug was a tax auditor? No wonder nobody liked him.

[-] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 months ago

Most dragons are misunderstood. Do you know how long it takes to count a mountain of jewels and coins, with at least one jewel worth entire kingdoms hidden in the stack?

You can't estimate the value by weight, it's a heterogenous mixture. It must be meticulously counted in only the way a dragon can.

It's no wonder they attack anyone trying to steal from the horde they're working on.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 14 points 2 months ago

[-] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 4 points 2 months ago

Drag wants to bone the nerd dragon

[-] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 months ago

Good for you, drag. Good for you.

[-] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Is the dragon actually slain and dying, or is it just a flesh wound?

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Interesting take. Perhaps it is simply a ruse to try and trick a medieval society into industrialization and the supporting capitalist thought...

[-] crawancon@lemm.ee 21 points 2 months ago

and in the darkness.... Bind them... to the following terms and conditions regarding... well, you see, we've been trying to reach you regarding your auto coverage...

[-] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 months ago

I'm sorry Elrond and Lorien, the terms and conditions state you must resolve the war of elves through binding arbitration adjudicated by the Mouth of Sauron.

[-] swab148@lemm.ee 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

What if we kissed under the Great Eye? 😳 Haha jk jk, unless... 🥺👉👈

[-] RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz 12 points 2 months ago

1 to Sauron, 3 to the elves, 7 to dwarves, 9 to humans.

3+7 = 9+1

Sauron shipped a himself and a bunch of humans with elves and dwarves.

[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

That guy was a real life doctor at one point.

[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

Yeah, and yet he's most known for showing his small dick in The Hangover. Hilarious.

[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

Oops! All Gay

[-] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Can't beat that +2AC. Shame about the 7 day limit, though.

[-] rustydomino@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

They said “no homo” so it’s ok

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Just two dudes getting married, nothing gay about that

https://youtu.be/RBzB1ARVTxg?si=ZfVC46gL9PiJHlDs

[-] sundray@lemmus.org 3 points 2 months ago

Man, deciding where to spend the holidays is going to be a nightmare.

[-] BumpingFuglies@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago

Shipping intensifies

[-] Banichan@dormi.zone 0 points 2 months ago

No backsies!

[-] rain_worl@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

regarding your name :(

[-] TheGrandNagus@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Look at their comment history. They're a troll.

[-] Banichan@dormi.zone -4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

because I react negatively to things does not mean I'm a troll. grow the fuck up

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 7 points 2 months ago

Picks a username designed to anger the community they're in

Says they're just a jerk when questioned on it

Idk bro, have you considered that trolls are also known for being ugly and mean?

[-] TheGrandNagus@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Nice try.

this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2024
481 points (98.6% liked)

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