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Men losing their mind (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
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[-] atro_city@fedia.io 127 points 3 days ago

What does this even mean?

"Men lose their mind" = they start shouting and shitting on the floor in disbelief?

"Daughters aren't as forgiving as their wives": forgiving what exactly? Mistakes?

It's like they think they're saying something profound and agreeing with each other but saying nothing of value (as is natural on twitter).

[-] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 108 points 3 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I think it's speaking about women who "allow" bad behavior.

Like, maybe the man's mom used to do all his chores for him without asking, so he comes to expect it. His wife, who is not his mother, says he has to do his own laundry and maybe puts their foot down about the whole "weaponized incompetence" some men use. The man is surprised, because he didn't expect his wife to be "less forgiving" than this mother, who just gave us and did it for him.

For daughters, sometimes daughters (or just children in general) , as an outside observer to the relationship, can tell that one parent is shit (in this case, the father). While the wife may go, "He didn't meant it, he's just tired," the daughter may not be "as forgiving" and just say he is abusive.

However, I don't think either of these are gender specific. Just depnsends on the dynamic at play.

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[-] Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 74 points 2 days ago

Good lord the discourse here is about as well as the man or bear discussions.

Something I notice is how everytime someone makes these kinds of criticisms, the counterarguments turn into a pit of semantics and extropolations. As if the original post was a massive research thesis rather than just women venting frustration over the entitlement and danger they're subjected to daily.

You gotta look past the specific wording to see the overarching societal themes, emotions, and issues. It's like those magic eye pictures.

[-] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 24 points 2 days ago

The undercurrent of misogyny is so so rampant on Lemmy, worse even than reddit was. Posts like this bring it right out. I can't believe how many upvotes some of these red-pill-ass comments have. It's really discouraging to see and often makes me too nervous to speak up on women's issues here on Lemmy, lest I be absolutely brigaded.

At least the bear can't use a keyboard and thus wouldn't be able to try and bully me into shutting up on the internet, so there's another instance where I'd choose a bear over a random man.

[-] koncertejo@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago

Lemmy is a lot less women-friendly, queer-friendly, trans-friendly than the rest of the fediverse. That really needs to change.

[-] koncertejo@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago

Lemmy is a lot less women-friendly, queer-friendly, trans-friendly than the rest of the fediverse. That really needs to change.

[-] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago

It's a lot like Reddit was back in the old days in that way :/

[-] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago

At least the bear can’t use a keyboard and thus wouldn’t be able to try and bully me into shutting up on the internet, so there’s another instance where I’d choose a bear over a random man.

Absolute mood.

[-] Ragnarok314159@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago

I agree there is sexism, but were you on Reddit for those first few years? This place is a Disney movie compared to how Reddit used to be.

[-] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago

I actually mentioned that in a comment above. Reddit used to be just as bad, if not worse indeed, but that doesn't excuse Lemmy by any means. I do hope that it's a good indicator that Lemmy will get better with time, though.

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[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 79 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I hate that I have to raise a son in an environment that is becoming so hateful towards men just for existing. I saw a picture of a woman at a protest against a child molester and she had a sign that says "not all men but it's ALWAYS a man" As someone who was molested by a woman when I was a kid, that shit is offensive and aggressive.

[-] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

The down votes say it all. This shit is why its hard to get men onto the left.

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[-] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 44 points 2 days ago

These people never met my mother

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[-] hesusingthespiritbomb@lemmy.world 65 points 3 days ago

Look at this point I know more women with unrealistic relationship expectations than men.

The world has changed a ton in the past twenty years. There's been a lot of discussion about toxicity in regards to male gender roles, and fundamentals changes to what's acceptable for a man to expect in a relationship.

There hasn't really been that discussion in women. While many women have perfectly fair expectations, there are a lot of women who will expect a man to completely reject gendered expectations of them, while having a ton of expectations of a man. It's almost a joke among my single male friends that the more vocal someone is about being a feminist, the more likely they'll expect you to pay for the date.

There's also a subculture of women behaving in ways that would be considered objectively toxic a decade ago, but have been normalized due to the whole oppressor/oppressed culture war narrative. I've seen women bail on long term relationships in ways that are 100 percent because they just want to sleep around. I've seen women push their husband into an "ethically polyamaorous" relationship that always is extremely one sided. I've also seen a lot of women with an "I can do better" mentality that nobody in a relationship would have to put up with.

I'm not saying women are universally awful or anything. I'm just saying I think we need to have the same conversation around how women behave that we had in regards to how men behave.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 33 points 2 days ago

Most of the dudes I know who aren't currently married just don't expect to have a relationship at all at this point in their lives (mostly middle age IT guys). The consensus is online dating isn't worth it to even bother with and it's hard AF to meet anyone in the real world so they focus on their hobbies and socialize with their bros instead. There's no animosity towards women and there are a few women that come out with us when we go to the bar but nobody is pursuing romance.

[-] kofe@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago

I mean, as a woman in my 30s, same. I'm not worried about it or anything, like if I meet someone that's great, but why stress over it? Dating is supposed to be fun. If you're stressing out, take a break. There's no rush. I say that knowing I only have so much time left to have kids, but again, stressing over it doesn't help

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[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 6 points 2 days ago

I think men in general have a wake-up moment when they realize no woman is going to love them the same way their mother did, that romantic love does not work the same way as familial love.

And the worst part is, if you find a woman whose love feels like your mother's love, RUN.

[-] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Jokes on them I don't even love myself

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[-] Numenor@lemmy.world 79 points 3 days ago
[-] atro_city@fedia.io 60 points 3 days ago
[-] Fleur_@lemm.ee 43 points 3 days ago

Oh boy! Gender discussion?! My favorite!

[-] drolex@sopuli.xyz 62 points 3 days ago
[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 5 points 2 days ago

favorite??

As if some things are better than other things?????

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this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
573 points (83.4% liked)

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