"same difference"

it's like they took the phrases "same thing" and "no difference" and combined them into one phrase that makes no sense

People using “honor” and “integrity” synonymously when they are actually very different words.

And also when people say “could care less” when they mean “couldn’t care less”

Referring to people of unknown gender by male pronouns.

The elimination of regional dialects forced by the translation to English of other works caused by Canterbury tales is where it all went wrong tbh. Wtf is an "egg"? Kids these days don't even know it's called an eire

😨 As a bad English speaker I am scared now

I can't think of abutting that truly bothers me (languages are always changing and I think that's neat), but one thing that throws me off because it's not a feature of my dialect is using "whenever" to also mean "when" (i.e. both reoccurring and momentary), which is found in some Southern dialects (among others). Sometimes the meaning is immediately clear from context, but other times it's ambiguous and so there's a jarring moment where my initial analysis suddenly stops making sense and I realize the speaker must have this feature. Not great at coming up with examples, but something like this:

Whenever I took a shower, the water was too hot and I got burned.

In context it would probably be clear that the speaker is talking about a specific event, but in isolation I have to go, "Wait, I doubt that they kept getting burned every time they took a shower...must be momentary".

Positive anymore (e.g. "I wear these shoes a lot anymore" to mean "I wear these shoes a lot these days") is kind of similar in terms of vibes, but the meaning is always clear even devoid of context so I just find it cute more than anything.

There's this other tiny thing which I must have read or watched a video about ages ago (wish I could remember the specific source) that doesn't annoy me or impair my understanding but I can't unhear:

As I said, it doesn't annoy me at all, but my ears always perk up when I hear the first three words because I'm wondering what the speaker will say. I think easily 95+% of people say the "incorrect" thing, even incredibly bright people with excellent language skills. If I hear the "correct" version, I take it to indicate that the speaker is someone who thinks carefully about their words; doesn't necessarily mean they actually have useful things to say, but I like to think it's a tiny window into their personality

I just remembered I pointed this "error" out to my examiner when I was getting a neuropsych eval (normally I'd never do that, but I did it in a playful way because she was evaluating my language skills), which probably contributed to me being formally diagnosed as a turbonerd.