this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2023
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Psychedelics
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In short, they made me confront a lot of things that I had been holding back since childhood or my teen years. I guess the first big thing was my gender identify (I finally admitted to myself that I'm non-binary after looking at myself in the mirror for what felt like forever during a trip. It was the first time I saw myself as distinctly not a guy, and also the first time I found myself beautiful.)
The second related more to how I interact and share myself with others. I had somewhat of a "bad" trip where I realized I felt like all my relationships were fake, and then further realized that they felt fake because I was unwilling to have any vulnerability with my loved ones. Friends, family, romantic partners, I had this closed shell that I would not let them penetrate no matter how close we were. I'm still working on this, but I'm getting better most of the time.
Now your turn!
Thank you for sharing! Very similar to you here:
Had a sort of bad shroom trip where I felt all weird, got in the shower and then felt very “gay” then I felt bad and scared about it and then immediately after I felt an overwhelming freight train of emotion over how unfair it was to be me and feel guilty and bad about things I liked.
Then the realizations that I’ve felt this way since I was like 14 all fell in and the walls collapsed and I stood in the shower bawling my eyes out. My poor girlfriend was so confused haha.
Moral of the story: shrooms told me it was okay to be bi and to be honest to myself and my loved ones because it’s not a bad thing; it just is.