Asklemmy

43893 readers

683 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

How do you stop feeling the desire to be in a relationship? (lemm.ee)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Kimdracula@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

57 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm almost 35 and realised is not going to happen. I will never become adult or reliable enough for any woman to take a glance at me. I'll never fall in love or experience sex.

There must be a way to stop this feeling. People say hobbies but honestly I don't like anything or i give up on everything. I don't wanna try new things anymore.

Edit: some of you are really nice. But to those of you who keep insulting just because my post is a downer they I'll just block you. Why don't just ignore my post instead of leaving nasty comments?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[+] Kimdracula@lemm.ee -8 points 4 months ago (2 children)

And I'll never have one

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Edit:

Hey, let me say first off I’m probably talking to you all wrong. You’re an adult, and I’m in the “talk to my kid” mindset with this. I apologize for being crass. Shit isn’t easy, I agree, I have been where you are and you’re not alone. You aren’t. Don’t lean into the anger and envy and darker tendencies humans have in these scenarios.

Especially when you choose to not have one.

I assure you even at the bottom of my deepest darkest depression, after 2 COVID deaths and suddenly finding myself a single father left alone with my son … I still CHOSE the isolation route.

It wasn’t the depression and everything else choosing, it was me acquiescing to the sweet sad embrace of it. It was cathartic but it was also drowning.

I don’t mean this to minimize, it is crippling and debilitating but it is still our choice. When you’re failing to choose to get up remember the choice is still yours and turn that into power for the next time.

Take a chance. The worst case scenario is you stop doing the thing you weren’t doing already.

Life is absurd, make your own meaning and your own purpose.

[–] Banana@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago

Sounds like you want to never have one. That's a self-fulfilling prophecy. You have convinced yourself so hard that this is who you are, that you are making that who you are.

If you don't want to be this person, don't be that person.