i think it's just easier to do content moderation on websites and stuff on TV/movies has become more keen on scrubbing slurs, so it's seemed like slurs have been less normalized, maybe?

in daily life I haven't noticed any drop in slur usage since the 90s. People will still call stuff gay or homo in a negative way. I've had the homophobic f-word slur screamed at me by passing cars a few times while on my bike. My coworkers will let loose any number of slurs that they claim to not even realize are slurs, mostly the homophobic or transphobic kind.

Yeah and white people absolutely will say the n-word when they think they're in private company. I've had taxi drivers say it to me since they see a white person and think they can relax their language around me. I used to work at a grocery store around 2014 and older customers would regularly complain about prices and say "that n-word is making the prices higher" (referring to obama), like right at me at the register.

The USA is a fascist country and every new person I meet is regarded as a potential reactionary until proven otherwise. I put elderly white people under the most scrutiny. Explicitly, outwardly queer/trans people are the only types I feel really comfortable with anymore