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this post was submitted on 01 Jan 0001
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"Sacred Rituals". This is what I call things that have to be done exactly the same way every time or it screws everything else up. For example, as soon as I get up, the very first thing I do is take my meds. Nothing, and I mean nothing, happens before taking my meds. Gotta pee? Can't. Gotta take my meds. House is on fire? That sucks. Gotta take my meds. If I don't, I will definitely forget to take them and fuck up my entire day.
I have something similar. I practice doing certain routine micro-habits until they become ingrained in muscle memory and always do them.
For example, I still set my keys down without thinking most times they are in my hand, but thanks to spending several hours practicing the motion years ago, I now always unthinkingly set them where they belong: clipped to my beltloop and tucked into my pocket. Anytime I identify a need to add one of these to my life I spend an hour practicing experiencing the trigger and then doing the motion. To learn the keys-in-pocket habit, I held my keys, clipped and tucked. Pull them out, note the feel of them in my hand, and repeat, over and over. It feels silly to practice doing something so easy, but once it becomes muscle memory, it doesn't rely on my faulty thinking memory. I'll do several sessions of practice every few days until I can feel that it's fully 'set' as an unthinking motion. They're a pain to establish, but they are well worth it and have saved me a ton of grief over the years.
One of these automatic habits saved me this morning. I always pat my keys when closing a locking door behind me (even if it isn't locked), and this morning I had missed swapping my keys to my new pair of pants. I would have been locked out of my house and late for work if patting my empty pockets hadn't alerted me just before a pulled the locked door close behind me. I have some other ones that I haven't mentioned, because I can't think of what they are. I'd notice the problems they prevent coming back if I stopped doing them, so I can only assume they must still be working.
I keep the keys in the hand that closes the door they lock. No keys, no close.
for me it's making sure I have everything when I walk out of the house. I have duplicates of everything that I need when I leave other than my wallet, one kept in a station by the front door and another by the back.
Wow, I like this term. Great concept that I've used forever, just not with such a killer label.
Even neuro-typicals can benefit from this idea.
Oh, totally. I've been patting where the swipe card is around my neck as I pass through secure doors, for years. I left it behind once, and the sheer hell of getting the escort to get back in to get it cemented the check-behaviour in me. It's weird now to be in the same areas - as a customer and not a provider since I switched jobs - and NOT have a swipe card to pat.
Keys go in the Key Place. If I don't see it there, I go find it. ;-)
The ritual I'm starting to love is the Clearing of the Desk at the end of the day. It's not because I like putting things away - even as a neurotypical I'm just sloppy and will just leave something pre-staged where I need it next - but I've decided I like the part where I fucking give up on the day 5 minutes early and fuck about tidying up before stopping for the day. I feel so empowered. I feel like such a slacker. I feel if people have an issue with the "I can get it done if I can get 5 more minutes of focus" as I used to tell myself (the fool!), that choosing to fucking bail and toddle about before quitting could be a helping thing because of that empowerment.
If you do this, or if you start, lemme know if that micro feeling of control makes a difference; but give it like a month of trying before assessing your feelings about it.
Oh,that cleanup at the end of day is brilliant!