I mean, the warnings didn't come until we were engaged, and I listened but I wasn't about to break away from a marriage because of warnings. At that point we had been together for 5y and the good outweighed the bad up until that point.

It was year 6 that he became cold, heartless, and borderline abusive (and then left me when my usefulness had ran out [e: and also the fact that I dare put my foot down for the first time in the whole relationship, too]). By that time, I was bracing for the implosion.