Learn to code, everybody said. There's so many jobs, and they pay well. Dumbass me fell for the bait. Graduated with a degree in computer science a year and a week ago. Didn't get any internships because I didn't realize how important they are. Graduated with a 2.3 GPA because I always heard people don't care about your GPA once you graduate. If you're generous and cut out the hours from when I failed out of college the first time, it's a 2.6.
I've applied to over a thousand jobs by now. Almost entirely entry level, but I took shots at some nonspecified experience level postings once I got more desperate. I've managed to get two interviews. To add insult to injury, one of the interviewers said that their main concern with me was that I'd move on to a new job in a year or two. I couldn't do that if I wanted to, man. I'm so burnt out on how bad applying for shit sucks when I know most of these companies are throwing my application in the trash in less than 5 seconds.
I've been able to stay stable so far. I live with my parents, who are the best parents I could ever ask for. They're understanding, supportive, and want to help how they can. No worries on the living expenses front, at least, but it's not a situation that can last. In the long term, obviously, they're not gonna be around forever. In the short term, it's just going to drive me completely insane. I've used my leftover student loans and a generous graduation gift from my uncle for the non-essential stuff and managed to limit my spending to about $100 a month, but the well will dry up on that front, too.
All this is to say that I don't think I can get a job with my degree. A year long gap is a bad sign on an already weak resume. Soon it'll be as good as if I had never gone to school in the first place after I spent years forcing myself through math classes I tore my hair out over (why was this 75% of my degree again?) I've tried doing some independent game development to maybe transition in that direction, but I can't force myself to do it because the whole time I just feel like I'm wasting time I should be spending looking for a "real" job. My parents have frequently encouraged me to go get a master's while I wait for the job market to improve. After telling them for months that I didn't want to sink any more money in education (read: training) until it showed some returns, I caved and started looking into grad programs. Looks like I couldn't do it if I wanted to because lmao 2.3 GPA. I'm confident I could get a great score on the GRE, I've always done pretty fantastic on that kind of test. It's the one academic skill I have that I can brag about, honestly. But the GRE for Math would kick my ass into next week, and I'm pretty certain most MS in CS programs would want me to take it.
So I can't get a job in my major, I'm too neurotic to do anything on my own, my grades are too shit to get a graduate degree. I'm 28 now and not getting any younger. I'm beyond sick of being dependent on others. But what else can I do? Service jobs suck tremendously and don't pay enough for me to live off of anyways, especially around where I live. It'd be equivalent of choosing to live in poverty. Every road seems closed off to me. I don't know what I can do to make my way through life and I feel like even if I did, I'd be too much of a coddled loser to take that path.
Sorry for turning it into a blog, I'm basically just some random failson whining. Anybody relate?
Edit: Thanks for the replies, everybody. Feeling a little bit less down. Probably gonna try and make some contributions to a FOSS project and get a job at a grocery store or something while I still live at home.
Took me 4 years to find substitute teaching with a heavily altered resume, I made up bullshit jobs for every gap year and had relatives or rando people I knew online be my references. Then when I moved to rural chudlandia 4yrs later I couldn't even do that since I'm trans, so I work part time retail, and it was a total beast to get that job with an even more doctored resume (I made my dabbling nerd haxaday sort hobbies into jobs to cover my 7 years worth of gaps), also with a STEAM degree, they indeed did lie to us. Usually most places don't ask for your GPA. My GPA was good (silly retail job asked for it, they're among the higher paid retails gigs here, so they can do really silly things), but being a transfer student and poor made getting internships difficult in college. I was so broke I could only apply to one school for grad school and the bourgeois scum had the mindless cheek to tell me after I drove 8hrs one way there I should backpack EU, like they totally paid 0 attention to my app. My competitors flew in, where well rested etc, me? Nah man, nah. Wish I knew the class aspect of gradschool in STEAM going in was that strong. I had some bad poverty, like in collections for years over a under 50 dollar medical bill, 0 money, something people like that will never understand. When a dollar is basically a gold nugget, when a bus fare is impossible, etc.
Its weird to see people my age who have careers and such here in chudland, with no education, in CA everyone seemed to be equally hosed. Its an inversion of how Gen Y was told, go to college get a job, go to tradeschool etc, that plumber is my coworker and the dude that dropped out of highschool is going full Kevin on both of us as we try to ring up his purchase of a good third of the store.
Back when I graduated I was told if you had one response per 1000 job apps your resume was solid. So many terrible interview stories. My family is understanding since they had trouble finding jobs too, but again same issue they won't live forever. I've always had to pay rent in some form, either giving them all my food stamps or selling what little I beer money I came up on Mturk or something. They'd always help with a place to stay at least, but beyond that I was always on my own, which was hard.
12years out, another 12 years assuming I'm not murdered by chuds fast nor slow things will be exactly the same, still not even surviving getting older and sicker, I've long lost hope of even slight personal economic improvement, best I can do is help others and lil homies maybe succeed and learn as much theory and repeat it on. Take some slack at work for the college kids so they can study sort deal and provide poverty survival 101 tips. Funniest thing is in the city the nearest 'orgs' saw my degree and required wildin fees, I suspect they were scammy but damn sib, in all my years working I still haven't met a year of the dues they were asking, I would have to live to 200 to be able to. I haven't been active in anything since college because of that when I lived in the city, legit orgs were hella far away, and now I'm so rural there's pretty much nothing. So its basically be a book shelf help in an old school universal nice sort of way, which is fine and all but only does so much.
I'd first reccomend a schedule so you don't fall into despair as fast, that's the hardest, then a vpn and a big book, game and movie list, along with your study plans, there's a place for all of it. I like to do a review of my area every year or so, though it does like 0 good and no one's going to believe me, its some weird paradox, when being education benefits me everyone believes the fancy degree from fancy school is fake, but when it hurts me everyone totally buys it. Don't let gap years deter you, they're trivial to cover if you're in any country that doesn't do job verification. Lie your ass off, whoever is hiring will, do the same back.
Overall, not worth the paper it was printed on. I personally love whining about this, don't blame you.