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Lemmy is a worse platform for women than Reddit was
(lemmy.cafe)
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this post was submitted on 13 May 2024
333 points (73.9% liked)
Unpopular Opinion
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Depends on how you read it. I see it as a woman's POV calculating the potential for violence from an encounter where the only guardrail they can trust is the man's morals. And given the amount of catcalls, casual feels and assorted bullshit women in my friend circle had endured from a very early age, fuck no, I'm not begrudging them choosing a bear.
Besides, OP was talking about men harassing women because of stating their bear preference. Which a) just proves them right, and b) do you honestly believe they meant ALL men are worse than bears? Each and every woman in that original story could probably choose at least 10 men in her life who she would be perfectly fine encountering in a dark forest. The question was, however, about calculating risk in an unknown encounter. I don't read it as sexism at all.
I think it's a right to take antagonism at face value, but a virtue to step back anyways and turn it into a positive experience. Not that the original man vs bear question was actually antagonistic, but some of the surrounding discussion can be.
Rape culture means that women who survive SA often have to go through a hellish psychosocial process wherein they must convince cops, judges, juries, friends and family that they were not “asking for it.”
This is not me talking, this is something that has been expressed to me by multiple individuals. That they would rather undergo horrific mutilation by an animal than even risk dealing with that process. It's not hyperbole.
I don't want to invalidate any woman's experience here. but It applies to all genders,SA done against men is often played for jokes, downplayed, or even treated as "lucky" (see this video.) Again, i'm not trying to invalidate anones experience, i just wanted to point out that this hellish thing can hapen to all genders. English isnt my first language, so pelase do tell if i missed something or wrongly undersanded it.
absolutely correct :)
i've also seen cases where women perpetrate male against male rape, due to personal vendetta, which is actually just fucked up beyond belief.
Like I said, it's your right to not take it. But it's virtuous to deescalate and continue the productive conversation.
I generally point it out as wrong and then move on to the rest of the argument, if any.
I'm not saying you're not justified, but this attitude typically leads to more division, not less.