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this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2024
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It varies greatly from family to family. On one end of the spectrum you have intense Christian households where damn and hell are taking the lord’s name in vain and therefore a 10/10 swear word. They will not watch shows which uses these words. Etc. On the other end, you have kids who swear around their parents and their parents don’t bat an eye. There are enough of the first kind of family that you can’t say damn or hell or in schools, although a lot of teachers will let it slide as long as you’re not being unkind or disruptive.
My kid came home and said they had to play the clean version of Welcome to the Black Parade in music class because it had the D word in it. And they said, “but I listened to the lyrics and I don’t know where they’re singing about dicks.” They just forgot damn was a swear word.
Personally, we call them “at home words” and tell our kids that if they say them in public people might think they’re being mean when they’re not. So our kids swear a little at home but not much. Because they’re not bad words so they don’t have as much appeal to them.
Holy shit this is the first time I've ever heard anyone do the same thing as me. My kids have "home words." We've tried to explain that some people think those words are bad, but we think the idea of bad words is silly and really it's all about what you're saying. Similarly to you, my kids will curse every once in a while (and sometimes I have to try really hard not to laugh) but not nearly as much as I did when I was a kid (though never around in my parents, in my case).
Good to hear we’re not alone! It seems like a decent compromise of a rule. It’s really funny how it works out. My oldest asked me why her classmates were obsessed with saying jokes about dicks and balls and my first response I was, “it’s just that age” but they pointed out that they didn’t find them funny and they didn’t understand why the other kids seemed to. My best guess was that we’ve encouraged our kids to use the proper names of body parts and discuss them openly when it’s necessary and relevant. So they’re just not as taboo.
I also agree that not laughing is really hard, especially when they’re young and don’t use the words appropriately. When one of mine was 4, they said, “I love my crayons, you bitch” in the most pleasant tone I’ve ever heard and I was just at a loss.