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Selfhosted
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Your router has no idea what domain has been used for a given connection, it knows the IP and only the IP.
HAproxy and NGINX can, because for HTTP you just need to look at the Host header, and for HTTPS, the SNI extension for TLS. Anything that uses TLS should be doable with HAproxy (you don't even need to decrypt the content, just read the SNI and pass it through to the backend as-is).
For other protocols, your only options are either it supports it, or you have to do multiple ports. Or a VPN at that point would also work, remove the problem entirely.