I hate this shit so much. Weighing your creature comforts against the literal life or death of your family. Yeah, living with the horrible, horrible burden of chronic illness and vulnerability does suck, doesn't it? It is limiting, you do miss out on so many things you wish you could do, it does crush you and grind you down and extinguish the joy in your life, doesn't it! But you're so lucky! You can leave whenever you want! You don't have to live with chronic illness, you can just fuck off and be normal and not have to worry about any of it whenever you want!

I have type ii bipolar. I've spent decades fighting to survive horrific depression, isolation, anxiety. And i watched normal, neurotypical, healthy people crack after a couple of weeks of half assed quarantines. "If you had what I had you'd be dead". And now when they've all given up and embraced the plague i get rolled eyes and scowls and pitying looks from people. Well fuck all of them! Covid causes many of the same neurological conditions as bipolar and adhd - brain fog, executive dysfunction, fatigue, malaise. I haven't fought like hell and suffered pain worse than death year after year to just give up and let this fucking virus destroy what's left of my brain because people want to eat shitty diner food or watch some capeshit movie in theaters.

I've survived things that would have killed most of them a hundred times over and i'm going to keep surviving. Wearing a damn mask is nothing compared to taking a fist full of pills every day that fuck with my stomach and make me shit weird and forget to eat and throw me between extreme cognitive states of focus and disfunction! Avoiding crowds? I spent almost a year once only leaving the house at night because i was so wracked with depression and anxiety and i was terrified someone would see me as a dangerous crazy man and call the cops!

I've been in much worse places than this, and i lived, and i'm going to continue to live, and i've seen what's in the heart of all these people who don't believe in death, who don't believe it could happen to them, who won't make sacrifices for the people they love.