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this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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Not a lawyer, but this is my understanding. To sue them, they need to sue for damages, but instead of going for some large amount that their fellow citizens would have to ultimately foot the bill for if they sue the town, they can win the case and get it in legal record that the town officials were in the wrong. The dollar is just a technicality so legal action can be taken.
I just had to correct a deed to a former property I was still getting tax bills for because the title company screwed up the paperwork, so what I had to do was "sell" that parcel of land to my ex for $1 so a legal transaction could be recorded.
You’re kidding? While i wholly understand expedience vs whole-lot-of inconvenience, would the time company not be responsible for correcting their own error, has you pressed it? Assuming you had proper documentation, of course.
Hah, this process took 8 years, 3 title companies, 3 banks, and a district judge! Thankfully it didn't cost either me or my ex a cent to my knowledge.
It's a very long and boring story about the most amicable divorce ever, but in the end, the title people made things right. All I had to do was write a letter to the collection agency lawyers every year saying "I ain't paying shit" and that was the end of it until the next year for me. I'd send a copy of the bill to my ex and she'd pay it as should have been the case to start with.
I’m glad you can read through atrocious autocorrect, which never seems to happen until I actually hit the “send” button, or at least until the particular autocorrect leaves my vision.
I’m equally impressed with the amicable divorce (a pity most can’t be, we all make mistakes or deliberately screw up, but can’t as immediately or willingly resolve things equitably).
Interesting sub note, having complained that autocorrect didn’t falsely correct anything until the word was not visible to me, I actually saw it change “equally” to “implicitly” or some other nonsense. My phone can spy on me enough to prove me wrong, but not correct it’s own incorrect behavior?! And Big Tech want us to trust them it won’t HAL us?!
I feel your pain. Since switching to a new phone last year from a pretty old one (S8 to Pixel 7) I feel autocorrect has taken a huge step backwards. It seems I need to correct at least a word a sentence, and even after that, I still have to edit my posts like 3 times as I keep finding weird stuff.
My ex's dad died suddenly and I wasn't ever really good with emotional things (undiagnosed depression) and me not being able to give her the support she needed made her decide she needed someone different in her life.
I didn't blame her for that, and it led to me finally learning to get the help I needed, and I came into my now-girlfriend's life at a time she was about to get into a really bad state, and this time I was able to support someone exactly how they needed, so it all worked out for everyone involved.
Fixing my depression turned out to be extremely easy, and it made me regret half of my life almost immediately for not getting help earlier. My gf's issues have been much more complex, and took about 2 years to dial in right, but she went from basically a total mental breakdown, and now she's almost ready to graduate from college. Whatever help any of you may need, just either take the first step to do it, or stay with it even if you feel it's not working yet. The only thing you'll regret is not starting sooner!
What a beautiful story, brought tears to my eyes. I agree. I’m happy all of you found strength and happiness during the melee .
I went through some horrific stuff last year and lost access to my therapist about the same time as the crescendo of crap. Funnily enough, I stopped wanting to die, stopped wanting to survive. I came to desire living and thriving. All by myself (that just means I’ve not met anyone romantically, friends and family are still in active illness and/or addiction), so far. I’ve gotten busy being my own therapist and doing the shadow work. Maybe years of therapy HaVe me the tools to stop playing and get on with it. I’m not finished; Uber sue (<— that WAS “there have”) been blind spots and set backs. I’m sure there are more to come. I’ll continue anyway, and hopefully if therapy and medication are needed, we’ll have evolved society enough to make it accessible to anyone and everyone who needs it. Blessings to you, your current and ex. You all sound like lovely souls. Please hug each other for me, if appropriate.
I'm glad you're still doing all that you can do and you've been able to apply what you've learned from what you've been through so far.
My gf's online support group just disbanded, but a few of them have kept it going as a Facebook group and still meet at the normal time. The original was free to her, I think her therapist had directed her to it, so maybe you can get someone to point you in the direction of free resources if that is the issue.
You seem to be ready to make sure you get better. That was the big turning point in both of our stories. I wish the very best for you, and keep doing all you need to do to keep moving forward!
Hey thanks so much! I am doing so much better, mainly because it was sink or swim. I was about to be released until a series of ungodly events, so I just look at it as a detour. I’ll definitely keep the online possibilities in mind, we can’t predict or control the future, despite our best attempts. And I’ve largely stopped trying and just do what I can, today. I still hope and plan, of course, with understanding it may be necessary to scrap all that and rework my ideas, along the way. Tbh, that’s been my biggest liberator, imo.
Well I am proud of you! Keep doing your best, and dont forget we all still have a bad day or 2 and that's normal and don't let it cancel your efforts!
Hi thank you! I won’t. Was thinking maybe I could look into online groups just as support from those who recognize what passes for normal isn’t necessarily healthy, and to keep me grounded and not let me kid myself. Thank you for your support and the suggestion, I intend to use them well! I’m proud of you and your irl people, too. It takes a great deal of courage and strength to recognize issues, let alone address them with honesty.
It isn't easy, but so many of us go through it every day, yet we still feel alone in it very often. I'm not ashamed of getting help, just about my time thinking getting help was wimpy or not necessary, so now I just want to help take the stigma out of it.
I feel that to the core. People stigmatize getting professional help, but it’s the healthiest that actually seek help honesty (eg not to avoid consequences of behavior). We need to spread that message.
What’s really shameful is expecting those around the sick* to get sicker, so the sickest feel better about their illness, rather than allow them to feel sick long enough to seek wellness.
Oh autocorrect *
If you told people you'd be sick for months or years with any other condition besides mental health, people would say why the hell haven't you seen someone. Mental health and addiction as well seem to get that help discouraged, at least publicly. It's weird.
Yep and yep. Idk though, even addiction is a bit more acceptable, in some places, than depression, or even ADD. It’s sad and telling.
I suppose a functioning addict can kinda play it off as just part of their personality. Mental health I can't think of a way to spin it as something "cool." Mania or brooding, maybe, but not so much a fun characteristic in a friend the more time goes on. But many will just abandon you at that point rather than try to steer you to help.
Maybe. I think where I am, addiction isn’t addiction unless it’s worse than mine, and “what do mean, ‘mental illness?’ THAT’S normal and you’re the weirdo!”
I’m not saying it’s correct, just that people confuse “normative” with “inside healthy parameters” all the time!
Edited for formatting
I don't think I know too many people that would qualify as "normal" to begin with. We all need to put a lot of work into our outwardly happy lives, some just more than others. The main thing is just that we keep doing those things for ourselves to make us the best we can be in our situations.
That’s my point. Let me edit that to use single and double quotes, my b.
Edit: done
Oh, thank you! That makes much more sense and now I don't think I annoyed you somehow! 😅
Oh my gosh! No, I’ve very much enjoyed conversing with you and hearing about amicable solutions to everyday life! I just fail at posting coherently from my dying phone. One day I’ll type my password in on the laptop; off my phone doesn’t completely die first. I’m lazy af in certain ways. Most ways, tbh.
Eta: you’re welcome, and please forgive my asininity!
No worries! If my stupid past mistakes can help someone, at least something good has come off them!
Absolutely! First hand learning is one thing; second hand learning preferable! Be happy and well, friend.