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me_irl
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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me_irl
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As I write this, a neighbor's child is bawling publicly outside my home.
Yeah, all parents seem to want to tell us how their life was meaningless before they had kids, but I'm good.
I've seen some of the most insanely inappropriate behavior from kids. Yes the fault is mainly the parents but the other day a child literally tried to take my milkshake because they could. It was awkward and if I'd been a couple steps further away I think the kid would've grabbed it out of the worker's hand. The parent said nothing, probably because they spend all day every day saying no and it's exhausting.
Is this supposed to be an argument against having children? Yes, kids sometimes misbehave. They're tiny humans, believe it or not, and sometimes what they want and feel don't align well with the world around them. It's the parents job to teach them how to behave around other people, and some parents are fuckups and do not do that job well. But when parents do their job well, that is how amazing adults are made, you see. Even if the outcome can't be guaranteed in any way.
If you don't want to have children, that's fine. I don't particularly think you should either. But "a kid tried to steal my milkshake" is just a laughable argument.
"Kids misbehave constantly" is a pretty great reason to not want them especially when combined with like 10 more good reasons which I don't need to list really. Do you really think that I made the decision based on a fuckin' milkshake?? I'm sorry my example failed the test of "could a parent needlessly justifying their choices reject this".
Okay then why take this personally? I think it's fair to take it personally that everywhere you look in society people are having kids and subtly shaming those who don't. I see that allll the time (this thread included).
You're in the majority by a lot. You don't need to get mad at a dissenting opinion just because it doesn't sound (to you) based on the right example/logic/whatever.
If you read this thread I'd argue there are more people shaming people for their choice of having children (as you appear to do) than otherwise. Basically everyone here who has a kid argues "to each their own" while half of the child free people argue "you're a selfish idiot if you have kids". One dude literally called children an STD. Another one calls it a mental illness.This isn't even subtly shaming.
Yeah and you're talking about probably less than 50% of 2% of the population. Just because you see the sentiment does it make it prominent. Shaming people for not having kids is so common you could have it happen to you and barely notice it because you're so used to it.
I didn't take it personally and I'm not mad. I don't care if you don't want kids but this is a public forum and your argument is absurd. The notion that "kids constantly misbehave" is clearly based on limited experience with kids and you seem to have no understanding of parenting, meaning you have a strong opinion on something you know very little about. Which is hardly uncommon, so don't beat yourself up about it, but still should be remarked upon when encountered.
I think the reason why this subject is so touchy is that people who never have kids can never really know what it's like, and it cannot really be explained to them either - all parents understand this to some degree. Some things you can only learn through experience.
This is exactly the condescending bullshit that we have to put up with. You are just trying to tell yourself your kids aren't quite as bad as anyone looking in would think.
I do not need kids to have meaning in life, and those who do need them shouldn't force that shit down our throats.
You are very clearly the angry one in this conversation. No one cares.
I agree with the other person. I'm glad you don't have kids too.
Never said I wasn't angry..you should try admitting it.
No one is as glad as I am that I don't have kids though! That's not the weird insult you seem to think it is
It's a pretty common sentiment that you don't "get" having kids until it happens. They seem perfectly willing to drop it after "to each their own" but you call it condescending? The reason your comments are all in the negative is because even the other childless people think you're a prick.
It's actually because the condescending fucks that pretend not to be shitty about their kid obsession are in the vast, vast majority.
Also who gives a fuck if I'm downvoted for speaking a lot of people's truth?
It's beside the point, but I feel I have to tell you that my kids are lactose intolerant and would let you have your milkshake to yourself. It's my wife you have to keep an eye on there, she loves them.
My man, I've been of your opinions, and I have a kid now.
What the person you're replying to is saying isn't condescending. He's not saying that he is more important or more intelligent than you. He's not saying that he necessarily has a better life than you, or that your choice not to have kids makes you lesser.
The strongest thing he's said is that you, as someone without a kid, cannot understand the full experience of having one. Same as how (assuming you aren't a famous actor), will never know what it's like to be a famous actor.
It's simple fact. Not good, not bad.
People with kids will never know what it's like to not have kids as you get older amd more established. I'll never know what it's like to have a foot long schlong.
Not every kid is a little shit, just like not every man is a misogynist. There's also the aspect that the noisy and disturbing children are going to stick our far more than any who are behaving. You don't remember every car that drives reasonably, or every public transportation rider that ensures they aren't a nuisance, during your commute.
Please stop projecting your personal frustration with children on the rest of the world, then getting offended when not everyone agrees.
The only reason any of you randos know anything about my opinion is that you're projecting your need to have children onto the world. "You would never understand until you have kids!" "They change your life and make you whole!" "When are you having kids??" We're sick of hearing it.
Good for you that you like your choice, just let me have peace with mine, it was absolutely the right choice. Many parents regret their choice, you can tell when they're angry all the time. Don't encourage more of that, full stop.
The next time somebody asks why I don't want kids I'm just going to say "Because I like milkshakes" with no context whatsoever. 😂