this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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Autism
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I always thought this was my ADHD talking, but from some googling... It could be this as well, or instead of. I'm definitely very monotropic and I also recognize the symptoms of Pathological Demand Avoidance in myself.
Unfortunately, at work I manage three different tracks which each have their own roadmaps and deadlines, so constantly shifting attention is required. It's taken a decade of practice to get where I am -- forcing my body and my brain past perceived obstacles and discomfort. It's possible to train your brain out of certain desire paths with enough effort, but it's not easy, and I wouldn't say I'm cured to any measure. I'm just better at managing my symptoms and getting things done than I used to be.
I hate to say "it's a bootstrap thing" but frankly there's no magic cure, only increasingly difficult iterative steps that you achieve through a ton of practice. I do hope my neurodivergent compatriots here have been able to find jobs that work with their unique skills and brain structures, rather than against as I have found myself.
ADHD definitely has a negative synergy when it comes to autistic inertia, at least to my feeling.
I am indeed very fortune with my job, its a non profit so i don't need to worry about my economic production value. People are aware i struggle but i am valued for my ability to think constructively towards clear improvements rather then doing tasks blindly.