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Shopping list software
(lemm.ee)
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Thanks Joplin came up on my radar a while back but I had never considered it for this task. With a webdav sync option built in, it might better handle the concurrent granular node/block changes that I hope for, than the file-at-once style of sync that syncthing currently gives me.
It's worth noting that there are two ways to use Joplin for to-dos: you can embed a complete list within a note, or make a bunch of 'todo-able' notes in a folder that can be individually checked off as completed from the note list itself. I'd usually say the advantage to using separate notes is that each note can have its own content within the body of the note, but with your use case of shared list syncing between people you're also less likely to end up with conflicts if people aren't editing one large note, since Joplin isn't a platform that sends all the connected clients updates in real-time.