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Ooh, this may be more worth a look then. I had hoped I'd be able to use the old phone to get up to speed before considering going to a custom ROM on my main device but it sounds like a Samsung S8 may be an exceptionally poor choice due to driver availability and other issues.
Graphene sounds like it addresses a lot of the needs that are pushing me away from stock Android (unnecessary bundled services, concern about Google harvesting more data than they should, Bixby / Google Assistant re-enabling itself every few updates and being pushed on users) but does so in a way won't sacrifice too much functionality (will definitely learn more about sandboxed Play services - that sounds useful).
I may have to consider getting a refurbished Pixel and setting it up with Graphene.
Yes, do that. Relying on Pixels suck, but they are the best to work with, have best updates, no weirdly blocked security features on custom ROMs and you can unlock them easily.
GrapheneOS lacks a lot of nice UI stuff as they simply not prioritize it. But an example of what yo can do:
It is barebones but the Android ecosystem allows to insall a damn fake iOS launcher and it works.