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this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
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As a German: Because we have a lot of Holocaust memorials and are taught a lot about it in school, we love jerking each other off about how much we've learned from our past as opposed to say, Japan, who deny the atrocities they've committed to this day.
But of course, all the changes and improvements are completely superficial and meaningless. We are a neoliberal hellhole and maybe the most pathetically loyal US client state in all of Europe, which is saying a lot. Our political parties will performatively decline engaging with the fascist AfD, but still implement all their same policies because we are a capitalist nation in decline.
Germans think because their newscasters speak in a monotonous, boring voice, that what they're being presented is completely unbiased and nothing but the truth. They really do believe themselves to be the adults in the room. Trump derangement syndrome is also huge in Germany, our equivalents of Bill Maher or whatever still make fun of him, the president of a foreign country who hasn't been in office for over 3 years, while self-fellating over how much better our democracy is because instead of 2 identical parties, we have 5.
Germans think they're the most reasonable, objective and intellectual people in the West while blindly following whatever the current US propaganda campaign says, so completely deluded, ignorant and pathetically loyal that we will happily shoot ourselves in the leg to serve American interests.
I fucking hate this country. I hate its self-aggrandizing, pseudo-repentant, pathetic ass-kissing of Israel. I hate how everyone in this country is a staunch defender of the status quo, how everyone loves to dunk on America with a less-than-surface level understanding of why America is the way it is and complete ignorance about how we're on the exact same track but maybe 3 years behind. Even our "left" loves Israel because there is not a single person in this country who understands literally anything, it's all fucking vibes. Israel could literally come out tomorrow like "We have decided to rebrand the war against Hamas as "Holocaust 2"" and we would lick their assholes for it.
Germans are probably the dumbest, most ignorant and at the same time most self-important people on this godforsaken planet. The dumbest American is 10x more curious about the world than the smartest German. If the US told us to, we would happily exterminate the Jews again, our news would tell us that the Jews started it and that would be enough for the average German to feel proud and righteous about it.
Americans in the room after reading this be like
Be grateful that you can't read German twitter
The amount of Israel worship among self-described communists would activate the school shooter gene in US leftists
Edit: I've said before that the reason why the entire world can dunk on the US and the UK is because everyone understands what you're saying at all times. Nobody outside of Sweden can dunk on unhinged ramblings of random Swedes in TV interviews, because their interviews are in Swedish.
Holy shit.
and they say Germans aren't funny
And this is why I love to constantly throw shit at Europeans. Even if I don't understand you, I have enough intimate intuition to know you're an entire continent of filthy swine rolling in the mud just like us.
Edit: also screw the sweds. All my Danish and Norwegian ancestors on a part of my family tree hate the sweds.
As a Dane, please note that while I am bound by blood to hate the Swede, any differences have long since been washed out and we suck as much as, if not more, than them. Just the other day I had a fellow Dane on
tell me that they would happily starve for a while if it meant we could keep giving funds to Ukraine..
"Dane... would happily starve"
Congratulations, You've met the least self-aware person in the internet.
Yeah, it was one of those blessed moments that make me go "wait, this is reddit, why on earth am I engaging with these losers?" and my mental health is better for it
As someone who grew up entirely in the US, had hardly zero contact with my German family members, and who fluently speaks, reads and writes German, I have to say your description of German people (on social media) agrees with a similar thing that I think every time I go read what is happening on "German" social media, namely, that some Germans have a very peculiar way of being smug and wrong, such that it is literally indescribable.
That's why when people I know in the US tell me that they'd like to live in Germany because of how much more "radical" German politics are, it so directly contrasts with my own experience that my brain disassociates for the next 20 minutes to protect my Ego from having heard something so absurd.
I honestly can't fathom a nation being dumber than America. Maybe that's my American exceptionalism talking but we really are dumb.
There is something to be said for being openly and unashamedly dumb. I feel like us Europeans have this holier-than-thou superiority complex while still being dumb and horrible as shit. But then again, could also be my bias speaking. I would still rather live here than in the US for material reasons.
Europeans really do think that they're better than Americans because they have healthcare, and pretend racism and homophobia are American inventions.
Don't forget bad cops. Only US cops are bad and racist, our cops are wholesome 100. Never mind that just a few years ago it came out that like half of all German police stations had secret far-right Whatsapp group chats, just ignore that bit, our cops have a modicum of trigger discipline and don't blatantly gun down black people in the streets so that must mean they're epic Marvel Avengers.
to be fair, as a bleak ameroid, if we suddenly got universal healthcare and the cops stopped gunning down minorities in the streets with absolute impunity, i would think the Kingdom of Heaven had arrived.
america number 1!!! U S A! U S A! U S A!
As a german, the least I can say that we at least have the decency to all hate ourselves openly
I had an Australian tell me recently that their liberal party being frothing fascists is because Trump set a precedent for them or something? It's not like they only legalized gay marriages less than a decade ago.
"Erdogan is basically the Turkish Trump"
"Milei is basically the Argentinian Trump"
"Wilders is basically the Dutch Trump"
"Orban is basically the Hungarian Trump"
Wow, could there be material reasons for why all these right-wing figures are popping up with similar rhetorics?
NO, IT MUST BE BECAUSE OF THE ORANGE MAN'S BAD VIBES
Yeah it was posed as a question on why the liberal party acted the way they did and I was told I was wrong when I said that they resorted to culture war bullshit because neither party had the ability to materially improve people's lives as they'd been captured by corporate interests. No it must be Orange Man that made the world crazy. The liberal party definitely wouldn't have had China derangement and spent billions of dollars on nuclear submarines to protect themselves from their primary trading partner if Hillary had won.
The most irritating part is knowing that Erdogan and Orban have been in power long before Trump was.
"Hitler is basically the German Trump"
Milei at least has the clownishness of a Trump.
“Trump is the blueprint”
I'm actually friends with this person and she seems relatively tuned in to politics in general, but it seems like a real blind spot born of getting basically all of her information from corporate media.
She's 38, granted she had a bunch of cancer and surgeries that kind of stole several years from her.
trump forced them to be a settler colony, actually
This is too accurate. It's wild that despite the massively strong competition, Germans might genuinely be the worst Europeans
I think the perfidious albion inches just ahead personally, but it's a close one
The Canada of Europe
I could literally say the same thing about the UK except we know we're not very clever
I wish we did too
Socratic ignorance is still a type of knowledge
but we do like to think of ourselves as smarter
I could imagine this being true of other Anglophone states besides Ireland (which has some real Catholic morons, don't get me wrong, but also has some more intelligent people), but really? Germany? I suppose I have a prejudice because of German art, but I don't imagine the better among Germany as being nearly this dumb.
Europe in not defined by the EU, it's a geographical designation. If they wanted to exclude the UK, they could have said "continental Europe" or something.
Are the Azores in Europe?
Is Japan in Asia?
Oh, how about "isn't Israel in Africa?" I think that will be a fun one to try out
Being part Armenian, part Jewish, I'll say mentioning unapologetic, but peaceful and harmless Japan in this sentence is the easy way, chosen instead of mentioning Turkey which is closer and which is still butt friends with the EU in general and Germany in particular in everything but words (because actions, like numbers for trade and military cooperation, matter, and words don't).
I mean, it can be read as just a detail deepening your point, so whatever.
Yes, that thing seemed OK 10-15 years ago, but now is kinda starting to stink.
That last paragraph is unfair to Germans, seems to me that it's true for most of the humanity.
Japan is part of the West and by no means "harmless"
Absolutely true. Japan is as western as Germany or Switzerland in material terms. Any denial of it is simply racism and equating being western with being white.
Their colonial history and current exploitation of the global financial system gets them the title.
Yeah it's hyperbolic to say the least. I'm just so fucking frustrated. I was never much of a "I hate my country" guy until October 7th happened and everyone in this country showed their entire ass all at once. Every delusion I had about this country has been shattered since then, it's been a lot to deal with.