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How do I cope with my father hating me?
(lemm.ee)
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Stop letting him. You don't owe him even an explanation. The nicest thing you could do for him would be to let him figure it out with as much time as he needs to do so. He hasn't listened thus far or had any appreciable or effective consequences that gave pause to or caused change in his behaviors. I think you probably know this and are just looking for confirmation.
Take yourself and your family back. Why let someone like that be a further influence?