Again, it’s 24XX, I’m supposed to believe humanity has achieved near-utopia, why am I getting the feeling that you’re trying to show me how gay these dudes are purely because they’re gay.

What? When did DIS ever do that? The fact Stamets and Culber are gay is not central to their character or any episodes. They're just normal people who do normal things who is accepted by everyone around them without question. I'm not sure how much normal you can get than that. I think your issue is that they exist because DIS doesn't do anything you claim with Stamets and Culber.

The Orville, on the other hand, just kinda… treated it like it was normal.

No, it doesn't at all. Topa has zero character development beyond being transgender. The Orville only brings her out when they want to make an episode about her being discriminated against. She has zero character development outside that. That isn't normal.

How does that not go against my previous complaints? Well, Topa isn’t human.

It does contradict your other complaint. Your praising the show that does exactly what you said you don't want, and complaining about the show that does exactly what you supposedly want to see. Relegating LGBTQ issues to alien allegories is erasure.

A human utopia involves everyone being treated equally,

Which DIS does. Stamets and Culber are treated normally.

so when you imply different treatment, whether through dialog choices or cinematography

DIS doesn't do this. There's no hidden subtext which suggests they're different. Not once are they ever discriminated against, even by the evil empress from the racist universe. I'm literally baffled how you think otherwise. I think your own phobias are making you see something that isn't there.