One of my favorite things about having kids has been being autistic af around them and them returning the favor without blinking an eye. None of us round when we talk about the time. We make random stim noises at each other. We are very frank about our feelings and compensate for that by setting and enforcing explicit boundaries.

My oldest told me last week, “I know there’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing, but I’m finding it annoying which is a sign that I’m probably overstimulated, so I’m sorry to interrupt what we’re doing but I’m going to go take a break and come back when I’m more regulated. If I’m not back in 20 minutes, I probably got distracted, so can you set a timer to come check on me?” Reflecting on it now, I could sob. If I’d had that level of insight and communication skills at their age I would have saved myself a LOT of pain. It’s not their job to make me proud, but I am so proud anyway.