I have misophonia and certain sounds are so grating and painful that it takes all my focus to disassociate from it and not give in to the rage. I couldnt imagine dealing with all the screaming and crying and still keeping my cool 100% of the time like I do right now. Better not to risk it.

Sometimes I think I would like to pass on skills or knowledge or help someone navigate through life but I could just write a fucking book and not subject another person to this bullshit.