this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
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childfree

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What helped you make the decision to be child-free? How do I be sure about what I want? Looking for recommendation - resources, articles, books etc.

My partner just let me know he would be ready to start trying in a year. My head just spun. I am not ready now at 31 (as a woman and my clock is going tick-tock) and I don't think I will ever be ready. I am neither excited about the process of birthing nor does a crying pooping tantrum-throwing machine excite me!

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[–] JackiesFridge@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Talk to your partner. If you are lukewarm about having children, don't have children. And make sure you communicate your feelings to your partner.

Neither my partner nor I were interested in children. We like them just fine, but we enjoy quiet, the ability to pick up and go wherever we want with little planning. Of course we enjoy having some disposable income.

Children are people. By having them, you are dedicating the rest of your life to guiding them, teaching them, and helping them become decent adults. It's a decision that shapes all of the people involved.

If you don't think you're ready, you probably aren't. Maybe some day you will be. But that decision is between you and your partner - do NOT let society or other people in your life pressure you.

One of my brothers has kids and loves them. The rest of us are blissfully child free with zero regrets, and we never did "change our minds" as everyone insisted we would. YOU know what YOU want. And if your partner wants differently, that may be an uncomfortable discussion, but one you need to have before other human beings are involved.