I'm sure other people out there understand this, but like I'm such a sinkhole right now. I lost my job a few months ago, and I am trying so hard to get another one but its just not happening. I feel like I'm always hitting like 2nd or 3rd place in the lineup. The interviews go well, get call backs, then boom last minute they went with the other candidate. And everyone is telling me I'll be okay cause they say I'm smart and have skills.

But it doesn't matter, I'm broke, my medications running out, I'm tired, I have bills, everything hurts, I have no insurance, and I don't want to be a leech and already my boyfriend has picked up the rent and stuff, but like he has his own bills.

I just don't understand, why does shit have to keep happening, can't it just settle for like 5 minutes so u can catch up. I feel like I haven't been able to breath in years, and there is something that everyone else is in on that my autism doesn't let me understand, and I'm just.... idk anymore.

I'm bleh.