Sounds familiar. I wasn’t doing it practically at all for my ex, and I could tell, but she refused to acknowledge any problem. Like, she wasn’t cumming. She said she was.

I remember the literal one time I made her cum she said in this sort of surprised voice “I … I’m cumming”.

It’s not that orgasms were new to her. It’s that because I wasn’t pleasing her, she assumed I had never pleased any woman and that I didn’t know the difference. So she just lied, and went to find other men to get her to cum. As in, just cheated on me to get what she needed.

That hurt extremely bad. Hearing that something’s not working for my partner is slightly deflating, followed by exciting again when whatever we changed makes it work. Hearing (implicitly) that I’m too hopeless to even be notified of the problem, fucked with my head badly.