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Whats the biggest dick move you've pulled that you were able to completely justify?
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this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2026
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The toilet card.
We had turnstiles to clock in and out of my old job. Couldn't leave factory floor without clocking out. Before i started working the union negotiated a "toilet card" where you have to go ask the manager to use the toilet and use the special card.
I'd taken to just telling my team leader I'm going and just slipping out the fire escape because I didnt like wasting 5 or 10 minutes finding the manager because the place was fucking massive.
One time I got pulled up and officially told off by the head head guy, the guy right below the owners. 20 minutes getting a bollocking for not using the turnstile. Accused me of fraud and theft.
After that I deliberately needed to use the toilet every shift. Every single time I would go and find the manager, and I would take the dumbest routes possible, going out of my way to not find him, looking in all the wrong places based on where I'm sure he wasnt. It would take me about 20 minutes to find him, a nice round 10 minutes in the toilet, just vaping and checking texts, then another 20 minutes looking for the manager again to return the card.
What used to be about 5 minutes, 2 or. 3 times a week, turned into nearly an hour every single day. The important part is that I wasnt stealing
/maliciouscompliance
I'm glad to live somewhere with some workers rights, because clocking out to go to the toilet is ridiculous
Likewise, shit that the American above has to go through is why people act like that person