"When I was your age, we had no laptops, but one day I got this new set of 36 color marker pens for geography class, and this kid of the 'no kids left behind' group who was a nuisance to everyone but kind of had fixated on me that year, just sat in the desk in front of mine, took the whole set from me, and when I asked her to give it back, she started throwing them back... piece by piece: cap, ink sponge, outer case, one by one, filling my whole notebook, desk, and everything in ink... while the teacher wasn't looking. I used to have a lot of patience, but when she got to about half of them, I finally had enough, grabbed her by the scruff like you'd do with a kitten, pushed to the floor, sat on her, and said 'quit it!', then let go when she stopped squirming. The whole class looked at the scene dumbfounded, teacher included. They let me pick up and reassemble the markers before having a talk. Had a separate talk with my mom... who later told me the teacher said 'finally, someone had the guts to do something about her!'. There was no punishment. Curiously, she calmed a lot after that, and we became sort of friends by the end of that year. I learned she lived alone with her grandma, because there was some problem with her parents, poor kid."

"Do you guys still throw wet wads of toilet paper to the ceilings of the bathrooms, so they stick like stalagmites?" (wait and see if they correct you)

"Don't run with scissors, I got my lower lip pierced that way [proceeds to show scar]"

"Say, what do you kids do these days for fun? Hope you no longer burn ants with a lens on sunny days. We had to run like hell when we set a pile of leaves on fire by accident."