I lean leftwards because I want more people to get the help, dignity and peace they need and deserve. Now I feel a wave of being told to "harden my heart" and I feel scared and isolated. I don't have it in me to become a martyr and estrange myself from most people any further, I get nervous with the leftism I see so often expressed as wanting the bad people suffer, and that anything short of revolution is not just not good enough, but worse than doing nothing. And then I have constant guilt that I'm judging people more discriminated than me for how they express things; that my fears aren't valid and expressions of privilege.
By now I'm feeling emotional burnout, I get annoyed by any respone that isn't in-depth analysis because it just feels like watching the same responses happening over and over and never going anywhere.
This is, in my opinion the problem with online leftism. I don't think people should suffer. Bloodshed will have to happen, but I think wanting someone to suffer rather than rehabilitated or just dead is a brainworm that must be excised. Likewise, while revolution must happen at some point, how it happens is going to be different in every country. Communism is a science, and the material conditions matter. I understand people's disappointment with the DSA politicians in America, but I think in the imperial core it is a good sign that they are popular. It shows that the people want progress. And when people fail to deliver in promises because they folded to capitalism, leftists can still capitalize on that disappointment. Leftists groups will certainly continue to be crushed by the state, but the more minds are changed, the power can be taken away from it.