this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2026
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Please don't hate on me, I know the name of the community, I'm just trying to explain.
To me it's the same as saying "You look like shit after you exercise". Well, yes, but it kind of misses the point of it. I'm doing it for let's say "a greater good". Sure, exercising is hard and at times you want to say "fuck it" but in the end you're more healthy, skinny and you feel better both physically and mentally. Also I don't value my own comfort that highly - it's kind of fun to push myself actually. Sure I could eat fast food daily but - I know myself and I'd get bored and would try to find some new challenge.
To me it's the same with children. If you don't have these feelings, that's fine.
This analogy doesn't really work for me, because I don't really see any benefits at all to having children.
With exercise, it's pretty obvious why you'd do it, but with kids? Honestly, I just see downsides that lead to more downsides.
Had a coworker tell me without kids I'd be lonely when I grow old. So I suppose that's a "benefit" to some. If we completely ignore how selfish that is, and how ridiculous it is, thinking your children are going to visit you anything close to often enough to keep you from being lonely,
Exactly.
I reemember some dude I knew who said that his parents told him that 'you should have kids because nobody visits you other than them if you dont have them' ...
Well they wrre abusive towards him and his numerous other sisters growing up so guess who never visits their parents ... 🤭😏 They had ALL THESE kids ...and none of them visits them regularly 🤭
Yeah idk that may be the crux of it for me, i just dont get "lonely." Like i dont remember ever feeling like ive been alone for too long, i just like being alone!
Raising brand new human the way you want, he is your number one fan. Reliving all those emotions with him. Becoming more selfless and more empathetic. I'd say life with kid is good in its own way. It is like watching youtube of travel bloggers vs visiting those places yourself. You might like it or not
I guess if the brand new human wants to be like you. What if they don't? It's a big burden to put on a child, to live up to those expectations, wether or not you tell it so. Will you be disappointed in the child if it doesn't? Will you love it the same if it doesn't?
Edit. And I find it kinda offensive that you assume making a child would make me more selfless and empathetic.
I just don't care about those ifs. I am pretty chill and spend quality time with kid thats it. Being disappointed is putting high expectations and thats about anything in life, it drains all your energy so fuck that.
Well my childhood was awful so that may be why i dont see any of that as good lmao
Our parents regularly told us they had us so we could keep their house clean. When I was an adult and saw the scale of the messes my niblings left, I had to ask my parents if they had just been telling themselves a very sardonic inside joke.
They were not.
I don’t entirely disagree with you, but that is like saying people who are childfree don’t contribute to “the greater good”. I happily pay my taxes for other people’s children to be educated, I chat with the parents and kids in my neighborhood frequently, I support their school fundraisers, I helped hide a bicycle that the neighbor kid was getting for Christmas gift so it would be a surprise etc. Just because I do not have children, does not mean I do not contribute to the greater good. I push myself in other ways, I don’t need kids to push me out of my comfort zone. It’s ok that you do, but not everyone needs that
It gets incredibly tiring to be constantly told I’m not a real woman^tm^ because I don’t want children. Or that I’m going to regret it. Or that I’m not going to have anyone to take care of me when I’m old. It’s near constant up to a certain age for women to be harassed about having children from everyone when people should just mind their own business.
What’s really funny is that I live in a very family centered neighborhood with 30+ children in my cul de sac and not one of those parents have harassed me about having kids. They ask if it’s in the plans and when I say I don’t want them, they just say “that’s cool” and the conversation moves on. They are all super chill about it.
And all of my comments are from the perspective of a woman who would have very much kept and loved the child I miscarried, the child I never even knew I was pregnant with before I was miscarrying on a public restroom floor. But that was before pregnancy would have impacted my spinal fusion.
I would hardly call bringing a kid into the enshitified world we live in “the greater good”.
I mean honestly, can these people be more self righteous?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0KQYNtPl7V4&pp=ygUdbm8gd2Ugd29udCBmaXggY2xpbWF0ZSBjaGFuZ2U%3D
If that aint the doggone truth...
Yeah we’re cooked
I mean, I don’t entire disagree with you either, but someone does need to have kids because those kids will grow up to be the nurses and doctors who I will pay to care for me when I’m old. That’s why I happily pay taxes to support other people’s kids; I want them fed, educated, and happy when they are wiping my 90 year old butt 😬
Id rather die lol but for real that's what you're looking forward to? Being wheeled around and shitting yourself but full of enough drugs to keep your heart beating and your colon moving in some way shape or form??
I didn’t say I was looking forward to being infirm, but I’ve already almost died twice before I was 30. I prefer to keep living even if it means taking a few pills to keep my heart ticking.
Women in my family typically stay pretty mobile up through our 90s and I’m healthier than a lot of my aunts and grandmothers already. I’d rather be alive and reading my books with someone wiping my bum than die before I am ready.
To me, there is no "greater good" to having children. From where I'm standing all you guys are doing is repeatedly dropping a rock on your feet and going "see this is so much fun, you should do it too!"
No thank you. I'm glad this brings you joy or whatever, but I do in fact value my own comfort and joy and peace of mind quite highly and so I will not be doing that.
Good for you. I hate people like you who call parenting a "dropping a rock on your feet" experience. You should stfu if you have no experience in parenting.
I'm still waiting for the "feel good" part of exercising to kick in. Been doing it for years, managed to lose nearly 100 pounds, and still feel like shit whenever I do it and afterwards. I'm at my happiest during the days I don't do any exercise on my days off of work. My therapist doesn't really think much of it since I get enjoyment from other things like frequent theater trips and talking to friends. Like if I could lose weight another way without paying a fuckton for surgery I'd rather do that so I can stay away from the depressed feelings.
Id highly recommend intense cardio if your havent tried it before. For like an hour or almost an hour
I find that I too feel 'not good' after exercising (I dont feel like shit just not good) but specifically when I do weightlifting or calisthenic exercises....
Intense cardio on the other hamd makes my 'self-deletion thoughts' disappear for a few days.
If you have tried it before and it didnt help? ....Aww 🫂🥺🫂
80% of weight loss is diet, exercise is a very inefficient way to lose weight, while you burn a few more calories, you get stronger more muscles and that makes you hungrier.
If you just jog for a half hour three times a week that's really all the exercise you need to be healthy. The weight control comes from diet.
Did....did I not say I lost a ton of weight? Like yes I know this. I said I don't get the joy from the exercise part of losing weight others get since exercise was the example used. Dieting wasn't brought up at all so I didn't feel a need to mention it.
If i didnt think that was batshit insane delusion i might consider having kids lmao