this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2026
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[–] csolisr@hub.azkware.net 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Oh great, as somebody who still needs the help of a support network to be ready to socialize, that means I should never attempt socializing period

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago

That’s the spirit

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you think Andrew Tate or anyone like him is your support network, you should never attempt socializing period.

If you need your friends to help you with dating and finding a relationship, that's a whole different kettle of fish. Just take a real good look at their own relationships and take their advice with an appropriate measure of salt

[–] csolisr@hub.azkware.net 4 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I loathe Tate, and I hate that the only person that seems to be attempting to make any self-help materials specifically for the socially isolated is Jordan freakin' Peterson, it's worse than having nothing at all and it's harmful to so many people. The fact that I have never had any friends in my entire life due to constant bullying doesn't help matters - at this age, everyone expects you to be already mature enough and won't tolerate a single mistake, making social practice effectively a time bomb.

[–] historicaldocuments@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPYT-qVyFg

Set a long term personal goal, create a plan to achieve the goal, and execute the plan. Discipline, delayed gratification, and cognitive ability need to be trained just like muscles (see every educational/athletic training program that works, ever).

Folks seem to like Couch to 5k:

If you go that route then a social network wouldn't be there to pick up your feet and move them, and would you really want them to take your achievement away?

If your social isolation is really that bad at "this age" then you might consider if there are any parallels between your situation and people who grew up in, and then left a church like LDS. They often start over from scratch with nothing at a later age.

[–] csolisr@hub.azkware.net 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I already do the delayed gratification, but no personal goal. I simply don't have the money or energy to do anything beyond my personal obligations, heck I don't even have hobbies anymore. Just do my work, check my notifications, do the chores, fall asleep, go to the gym a few times a week, rinse and repeat. I do have a strict mother I live with, she's basically the reason why I do anything nowadays because otherwise what else could I feasibly do with my life?

go to the gym a few times a week

You're ahead of the curve!

no personal goal. I simply don’t have the money or energy to do anything beyond my personal obligations, heck I don’t even have hobbies anymore.

Your first obligation is to yourself. If you've settled into a routine which is the minimum possible standard and don't have anything left over for yourself, then you need to break that routine somehow.

what else could I feasibly do with my life?

Whatever you want! Pick something you think you might like and try it out. Then at least you'll know if you might enjoy it as a hobby.

I do have a strict mother I live with

Are you 100% certain you haven't baked your assumptions of her expecations into your actions?

You're an adult human being with agency; do something that makes you happy, or that might make you happy.

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I'm not sure if he's any good, but I read some time ago about "Prof G" (Scott Galloway) trying to be a better role model for (especially) young men than the Jordan Petersons and Andrew Tates. I listened to a few of his podcasts and didn't find him particularly compelling, but he covers a range of topics and perhaps the finance stuff just didn't interest me as much. He may be worth a look for you if you're into that.

Sounds like you've had a rough go of it so far, but hang in there. Things can get better!

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world -1 points 1 day ago

All materials are self-help materials if you look at them right. Read things not for improvement but for enjoyment. Find a passion. Then passion will find you.