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Do your managers also believe accusations made against you before asking for your side of the story? (linux.community)

submitted 6 days ago by eli04@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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This has happened to me 2 times already, 4 years working at this place.

What managers say: “on day X you did Y.” Then they say nothing more, like expecting an answer from me.
What I find makes sense to say: “coworker Z (or a coworker, without naming) claims on day X you did Y. Is this true?”

To me only the second example is neutral, the way management asks question # 1 is accusatory and assumes you’re already guilty.

Am I very thin skinned?

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[–] kindnesskills@literature.cafe 1 points 3 hours ago

The first one sounds more neutral to me, just mentally add a questionmark or a "right?" to it. They're leaving space for you to respond if the statement is true or not. This is kinda like how conversations go, people leave space for the others to chime in and take their part in it.

If someone "claims" something happened, it seems like an accusation or interrogation.

The main takeaway is that everyone interprets things differently and prefer different styles of communication. Just keep in mind that your interpretation is not always the same as what is being intended.

I don't know about thin skinned... it depends on a bunch of factors aside from mere words and pauses, written down here. Do you generally tend towards the defensive (feeling attacked/accused/wronged in conversation, and in turn faulting the other person for feeling that way) when dealing with other people or in certain settings?