this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2026
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I had both. I was orphaned by my living parents, and then raised by my super abusive adopted Step father. Saw my mom sometimes.
My bio dad fully fucked off, and honestly, growing up respected him more than my step father who preached "family first" and ..didnt live it. I framed it as, if he cant be responsible for kids, least he walked away instead of making us his punching bag.
My mom, I hate the most because she shrugged off all her parental responsiblilities, while maintaining a drug problem and once a month visitation "im sorry you kids have to deal with your father, your complaints are all the reasons I left him, but there is nothing I can do to help you in this obviously horribly abusive situation". paraphrased obvs. but I hate my mother most. Havnt seen my step dad since I was 16. I actually hate him the most, but it doesnt sting as much as what my bio parents, my mom mostly, did.
Orphan, hands down. My step father's bio kids (I was raised with) are so much more fucked up than me. I could always fall back on "dudes not my blood, cant wait to get out of here" as a young person.
Orphan all the way. Least I started my life (found out I was adopted at age 6) with the truth I was gonna be on my own, just had to make it to 18 and get free.
Also, if you come from a good family and become an orphan that sucks. But it is much worse to watch the people who are supposed to care for you, abuse you instead. You are losing your parents one way or the other.