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Do your managers also believe accusations made against you before asking for your side of the story? (linux.community)

submitted 6 days ago by eli04@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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This has happened to me 2 times already, 4 years working at this place.

What managers say: “on day X you did Y.” Then they say nothing more, like expecting an answer from me.
What I find makes sense to say: “coworker Z (or a coworker, without naming) claims on day X you did Y. Is this true?”

To me only the second example is neutral, the way management asks question # 1 is accusatory and assumes you’re already guilty.

Am I very thin skinned?

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[–] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

The first way sounds like the result of management training, tbh. Giving people space to reply instead of jumping right into questions allows them to give a reason for example. The conversation can go in that direction and is about the situation not defending against the manager's assumptions about why something happened. Like "You clocked in late yesterday." The person can be like, "yeah I couldn't find my socks." It needs to be about something that everyone agrees happened tho.

I don't think the second way is great either, and puts people in the defensive real quick. Like, "Your coworkers said you were late yesterday, is that true?" You are probably wondering which one of your coworkers is a narc instead of paying attention to the convo. Or maybe you weren't late to work, but there was a spill in front of the terminal and you needed to wait for it to be cleaned or cleaned it yourself. And then forgot to get it adjusted. And you have an asshole coworker who is trying to start shit.

Sorry your manager is an asshole. I don't know if 'thin skinned' is a useful term. It's not thin skinned to be upset about being told you did shit you did not do.