this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
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"You're putting it all in me, but you had a hand in this, too." Yeah, no, I never said I blamed her for <incident that broke the camel's back>, just that it was a really bad experience and one I didn't want to repeat.
Did you still get "Will you STOP BLAMING ME!!1!" in response to you being uncomfortable with their behavior?
Yeah, that's fun.
My mom is such a martyr. Smartest one in any room and the most willing to let everyone walk all over her for the sake of group cohesion, especially when she's not the one that bears the weight of the group. (that is, she'll volunteer her kids for duties, give their stuff away, and take risks with family health in order to not rock the boat. Why yes, I do blame her for getting my immunocompromised dad sick. She should not have gone to that "mandatory unmasked work Christmas breakfast potlock" in December 2020. It couldn't have been too mandatory if she retired 2 months later.)