this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2026
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I'm not denying it happens. Personally, I'd rather have someone be honest about not being the right partner for me than to pretend and break both of our hearts later when the relationship inevitably crashes and burns.
Being supportive and honest is better overall.
Dating is tricky and it's very individualistic. You're not dating women as a group, you're trying to find a partner. And hopefully that partner is empathetic and caring and supportive and ready for a relationship at the same time you are.
Yeah I know and agree. I said that she was an asshole because she didn't fight the knee-jerk reaction that I've seen many women demonstrate at the sight of a "weak" man.
You'd think that, after feminist discourse being mainstream for a decade plus now, men would feel safer about sharing their traumas. But here we are.
For the record, I call myself a feminist and don't think that she should've pretended anything. But in the same way men have expectations on women that we should know to question and overcome, so should women.
This has happened to me twice. It's not always a kneejerk reaction. Sometimes those feelings just go away and they don't come back. We tried staying together and working on it but it just didn't work out. They were actually fine with the sexless state of things, it was me that had a problem with it.
What knee jerk reaction? She was supportive and helped him.
She didn't owe him a relationship because he opened up to her. She owed him respect and support which she gave.
I think both her and OP wanted to get more intimate than just friends, something that the woman in question changed her mind on once OP showed some weakness.
You don’t know that she realized a relationship wouldn’t work because she felt he was weak for sharing. It could be that she has past trauma as well that wouldn’t mesh with his. There’s many possibilities here.
The important thing is that she was supportive and honest. Can’t ask another person for more than that.
I agree. All I'm saying is this: this is so commonplace that men still don't feel comfortable about sharing their traumas with their partners.
I agree and I hope it gets better. I know I'm actively working towards making it better for men. It's a small drop in the bucket, but it's there.
It's less commonplace than it used to be and we can make it even better.
Thank you ❤️