this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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Specifically I mean many women's expressly stated prreference for men taller than them, not a 6-ft minimum. I agree with you on your dating advice,but also sympathize with people trying to figure out why they keep getting rejected on-line--the mind will always find a personal reason without acknowledging that online dating is intrinsically horrible.
Tall women have a similar disadvantage when dating as most men prefer to have partners that are shorter than them.
Dating kinda sucks.
I’m a tall woman who has dated mainly shorter men. There are two types. The ones who put their arm around your waist proudly parade you around in public (makes you feel like a supermodel).
And the ones who are quietly furious and take it as a continuous personal insult that you dare to be taller (makes you feel like a big gross monster who needs to slouch in shame).
I imagine some women get too tired of the latter to keep searching for the former.
The first type are so great and so fun to date.
The quiet resentment from the second type is insidious.
I don't get the insecurity and resentment about height but I suppose that's bc I don't understand it about anything
Woman makes more than me? Please ffs let me find you. I want to stay home with my kid and not babysit adults.
You're strong and can labor around here? Please ffs I could use a hand.
Smarter than know it all me?! Awesome! Help me figure things out and tell me your opinions so I can rest my overloaded brain.
Strong willed? Dom? Please please please - let me sub out - I make every fucking decision for everyone for decades. Tell me what to do. Slap me around if you want. Streets and sheets. I'm so tired.
Over a foot taller than my short ass? Wow - I kinda feel like the shit. 20s misogynist me is bragging about getting with someone so desirable that other short guys wouldn't be able to.
I don't get the point of hating women. There's like this whole other 50% of the population that brings this entirely unique perspective, wants to participate and have agency in life, proactively telling you they want the space to thrive... Just let all the ships rise and bring our sisters up with us.
Or I can be a whiny bitch about my dick feeling small bc women are fucking g's too...
Yeah, no brainer for me.
That’s exactly why I married a man like you :)
Love each other tons! It's hard to find the real deal!
Is there a song about heteropessimism I can link here?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdh9irHuk-U&ra=m
All I ask for is respect
I don't get it from the state
And I don't get it from men
You take up spaces that aren't yours
Because of history, on whose side?
Oh right, it's always yours
And I just want, yeah, I just want
Not to be needed, not to be looked at
With a menace and the thought of breeding
And it's alright, let's step outside
And you can feel I'd rather
Show my wrath, get spit upon and learn the reasons why
Why can't I walk in the street without men bothering me?
Why does he poison my heart
Control my life from afar?
I'm sick of being sad when I'm alone
I'm sick of being scared on my walk home
I'm sick of being trapped by what you impose
You hear yes when I say no
One step out of line and I'm done
Medieval punishment for saying, I will make you cum
Mosquito, an evil, you suck out all my blood
I'll crush you like the bug you are, underneath my thumb
Wants to get rid of me 'cause he's afraid
Sick of thoughts of me taking his place
Refuse to back down in the eye of your hate
I'll push you right back from whence you came
Why can't I walk in the street without men bothering me?
Why does he poison my heart
Control my life from afar?
I'm sick of being sad when I'm alone
I'm sick of being scared on my walk home
I'm sick of being trapped by what you impose
You hear yes when I say no
When they don't stop, when you say stop
When they don't stop, when you say stop
When they stand too close on the sidewalk
My clothes don't have pockets
And I'm forced to want it
Complain about a condom
I hate you, love you, it's Stockholm
Not your pretty girl, I never will be
Don't look me up and down like I'm a piece of meat
I see how you degrade with no shame
So hear me when I say
I'm sick of being sad when I'm alone
I'm sick of being scared on my walk home
I'm sick of being trapped by what you impose
You hear yes when I say no
Yes, it's definitely a start to a lot of more interesting questions, like:
I think a lot of the debate around this is really about male entitlement. Men are absolutely shocked and horrified that women turn them down and react badly, and women are super-annoyed that the men who complain about shortness the most have a shitton of more pressing issues interfering with their dating lives (often hilariously including exacting physical standards).
I'm firmly on the side of toppling the patriarchy, but I don't see the role of gaslighting in that endeavor.
Is it gaslighting to be realistic and push back on the manosphere lies about scarcity in dating?
Telling boys and men that their height will have all women rejecting them is poisonous and harms them overall. And it's blatantly not true.
I didn't say nobody would date them. I said it's a disadvantage.
I guess the discussion online is always in context of online debates and not real life. Online, we have to fight red-pill propaganda constantly, so the simple reality that being a shorter man makes dating harder becomes some sort of weird battleground, where to concede that point is capitulation to manosphere agenda.
That's the only way I can make sense of the differenges between IRL and online discussions of this issue.
I get it. Like if I'm talking to someone (anywhere) and they just randomly volunteer that black people in the US commit more crimes, I'm assuming they're not about to start talking about systemic injustices that lead to black people being surveilled, arrested, and convicted disproportionately. Might as well also say, “I'm not racist, but it's the culture.”
But in my case, it is simply that I've heard from plenty of women that they don't like to date shorter men, and I've seen plenty of jokes made at the expense of short men in media (including fat-positive Shrek), that it drives me absolutely bonkers to deny it.
The only other thing it could be is generational. I'm Gen X. Maybe younger gen honestly does not care and that's why our experiences are different.
I recognized that it is a disadvantage and that it is not disimilar to the disadvantages tall women have when dating.
No one is denying that women generally prefer partners that are taller than them. What I'm denying is the prevalence of the problem.
You're not trying to attract all women. You're trying to attract a partner. There's a significant difference there that should be recognized a little more imo.