this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2026
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Resources:

Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.

Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/

Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/

[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map

[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination

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[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/

[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org

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I'm exhausted... I don't know how to break out of this.

I keep having wars inside my head. Dysphoria, imposter syndrome, and OCD that keeps telling me I'm not trans.

I feel really relived when I experience euphoria, but I want to feel like that all the time, which doesn't happen. So I end up creating an image in my head of who I want to be, I somehow manage to live as this image instead who I am right now. But I also can't keep that image alive 24/7 without feeling like my head is gonna explode. Whenever what image breaks, I feel really sad. Perfect opportunity for the negative thoughts to return, and I'm already exhausted from trying to keep that image alive that I end up disconnecting from everything.

I'm just numb, my head is so empty, but I'm sure after a few hours, everything will be a mess again. The worst thing is that even when I feel euphoric and happy, it doesn't feel "me", as if I don't have what it takes to be "him", and I don't feel like I exist at all. I just want to keep living from my head.

Sorry, nothing I wrote makes sense at all.

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[–] Moxie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm sorry you're feeling like this! Needing to know is rough. For awhile my situation was somewhat different but similar as well. Others have been where you are though and came out the other side okay! Have you heard Travis T.'s song tOCD?

What if you were raised to think that you can outsmart fate if you just

Think of every angle, think of every flaw
Think of every single fucking thing that could go wrong

Think of other choices, really think it through
Think of more excuses to avoid the fact that you still want to

[–] ckytoshi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 hours ago

Wow, thank you. Really relatable.

Isn't trying to outsmart fate doing the opposite tho? trying to prove that fate by thinking of every possibility. Or maybe I don't know whether that fate is from society's POV or not.