this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2026
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[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 17 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Look it takes a long time to write a story that bad.

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That reminds me, it does amuse me that when you search "Emil Pagliarulo" on YouTube it just brings up a bunch of videos about how much he sucks

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)

And rightfully so. For Skyrim and Fallouts 4 (and maybe other stuff prior?) he was able to coast off of an existing setting written by more talented people. When he doesn't have that crutch and is responsible for coming up with original ideas, the best he can do is "sure the guy who invented the warp drive was worse than Hitler by a factor of several hundred, but he had to do it because space is really cool".

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 days ago (2 children)

You're gonna to have to explain that last part to me cause I'm not playing Starfield

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)

In one of the last missions, you learn from audio logs at an abandoned NASA facility on earth that the guy who "created" the warp drive did so having learned how to from some magic precursor artifact. Due to the artifact, he also knew that using it would destroy the magnetosphere of the planets it was used around over time. He also knew that doing so would result in only a few million people being able to evacuate earth before it became uninhabitable and therefore he was sentencing 99+% of humanity to death. He did this anyway because "going to space is just so important". There is no actual reason ever given in game for why someone would actually want to go to space because frankly space in Starfield is boring as fuck.

To make things even worse, he also knew that this fundamental flaw in FTL tech would actually be solvable with a software patch but didn't deploy it because I guess he just wanted to be the worst genocidaire of all time.

To make things even more worse, IIRC THE GAME NEVER ACTUALLY ADDRESSES THAT HE DID THIS. You have to read between the lines that this random engineer is history's greatest monster.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 days ago

Maybe he wanted to copy the one good part of Horizon Zero Dawn, where a tech bro dipshit destroys the planet because he's a tech bro dipshit, but without understanding what made that backstory work.

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 2 points 4 days ago (2 children)

did so having learned how to from some magic precursor artifact

Is this a goddamned Assassin's Creed crossover episode

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 days ago

No, it's a Jak and Daxter crossover episode

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Sadly that might lead to something interesting happening, so no. The extent of the precursor artifacts in-game is you go into a room, float through glowing rings, and then learn a ~~dragon shout from Skyrim~~ space power.

Looking forward to achieving CHIM in Fallout 5

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 4 points 4 days ago

Testing the FTL drive fucked up Earth's magnetosphere and it's uninhabitable now

But space

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

He didn't even invent it, really. He just copied precursor technology. So another thing they just copied from Mass Effect

[–] sleeplessone@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 days ago

Their "copy something from precursor technology" world building point itself being a copy of precursor technology (Mass Effect in this case)? How meta! Maybe Emil Pagliarulo is a clever writer after all. /j

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Do you think they wrote a good story first and then spent the rest of their time whittling it down into the least memorable piece of shit they could turn it into or do you think they just really nailed that on their first try

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I think Emil wrote some absolute garbage on his first attempt and then refined it into pure shit over several years.

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The shiterative process kelly